I never thought about running away from home as a child. Ever.
Why can’t people just say what they mean, and do what they say they are going to do? Why does the world have to be so complicated? Why are there so many liars and cheaters? Why can’t there be one single day of my adult life that feels easy? Did I do this to myself? Do I expect too much? That is a question I ask myself often.
If I am good, and kind, and loving, and honest, and faithful, why are there people in my life that aren’t like that? That aren’t like me. Quite a few people. A lot of people, actually. Do I excise them all? Is it really that difficult to keep promises? Is it really that difficult to follow through? Is it really that difficult to be kind?
I know these are all rhetorical questions, but there are days when I literally want to go away. It has been suggested that I take a break. That I do go away. This sounds like a very good idea to me but I don’t often do it. I think the reason I don’t, is because I am afraid I will never want to return. The coming home becomes the hard part.
I ran away a lot as a kid. I recall my (normally very kind) mother locking me out one night! Growing up on a farm, with ponies, I would jump on one and gallop to the back of the farm or to our tree house. Coming home is the worst. Or the best!
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I can totally picture you jumping on a horse and heading to your tree house. Isn’t it nice to have that choice of coming home, or not? I want to jump in my Porsche and drive to my beach house… I am such a spoiled impatient girl. ❤ ❤ ❤
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I am at my lake house. Not sure if it is running away? Just space.
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Space is good… space in a lovely house by a lake, very good. Having that space all to yourself, priceless. xoxo
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What happens if you don’t go Kat? I understand why you would be afraid of not coming back, but are you afraid of what happens if you stay? Everyone has their limit maybe you’re approaching yours. Why don’t you think about doing something fun just for you? You will go back, hopefully rejuvenated, with fresh eyes and most importantly a space for yourself within yourself. X
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Absolutely great advice, Owlie. I don’t exactly know what I am afraid of… but I do think deep down in there I may be afraid I will like it better away, but won’t be able to sustain it. I really believe that when we have our beach house, it will be a great equalizer. For now, I think a simple break is in order and being rejuvenated sounds like the best thing ever right now. ❤
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The thing is its always better away isn’t it, because the break from reality is amazing – no house chores, no work, no drudgery. It does sound to me like you need a few days to yourself, to escape, run away – like a naughty 13 year old….wonderful!
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Yes! I never was a naughty 13 year old… I could be that now! 😉
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Please forgive this. I am not part of your unhappy group. I do, however, have a lot of work experience dealing with chaotic families. People forget that we are warm-blooded animals who, when we are in danger, get fight, flight or freeze reactions. The reason you want to run is what any animal in danger does. Inside your homes lurks danger. I would suggest you look at what happens to the human body when it is constantly on guard. It is flooded with very powerful hormones to get you out of danger. Those hormones are extremely toxic and take hours to come out of the system. If you are constantly on alert you are never free of them. Running away gives you the freedom to get away from what your body knows is dangerous. Right now, inside your homes feels dangerous. I assume none of you let your guard down ever. If you get together you might be able to relax enough to let all that tension and grief leave for a few days. Good luck. You are such eloquence writers, all of you.
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Yeah, it’s time to get those hormones out of our system. An escape from what causes them seems to be a good plan. I know that when I went to the seminar for betrayed wives 10 months out from my husband’s diagnosis, it was magical! Unfortunately, it was a one shot deal and really difficult to conjure those good vibes without a similar environment. Maybe it is time to recreate those feelings, of being understood, of being respected, of being treated with loving kindness without question or guilt or requirement of payback or promises. I do let my guard down all the time, unfortunately it doesn’t really change anything since those old habits of an addict die really hard. No matter how vulnerable I am, he will always feel like he is somehow the one being neglected. They built those feelings and habits so long ago, not sure they can be reversed. I mean he can stop feeding his addiction with a sick drug, but not sure he can change the underlying feelings. Not sure learning to live with it sounds like so much fun to me right now. I think I really do need a break.
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I’ve gone on long drives… Hundreds of miles.. Walked beaches and spent hours in a cemetery. Thinking now of getting snow shoes!
I’m afraid if I ran away I’d never want to come home. ❤️
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Snow shoeing is great exercise. I remember when we dropped our son in Lewiston for college in August and there were guys walking around with what looked like skis and poles, I think? I asked what they were doing… they were training for winter, of course. I had never seen anything like that. We don’t get a lot of snow here.
I am afraid of the same thing, Rac… xoxo
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I ran away. It gave me a little sense of being “free” but nothing really changed….I just don’t have to live in the same town my children live in…and be ignored. Sigh.
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I would take the feeling of being “free” right now. Oh yes I would. ❤
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Freedom is great, but there’s always the longing for what once was. 😦
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I know I sound like a broken record, but time to reach for something new… ❤
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Ha. And. I know I sound like one when I say “I know.” 🙂
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I know you are trying. ❤
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You are welcome to the UK anytime!! You’ll need a coat and wellies though lol!! X
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Oh, big_eyes, I am from the wet state of Oregon in the U.S. I have the coats and wellies, that’s for sure!!! I will actually be in the UK in May… most likely just London though, this time around. xoxo
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🙈you definitely know all about the wet stuff then!
Ah are you!! What’s bringing you over? xx
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Work and a birthday trip for me… London and Paris. It is nice when work collides with two of my all time favorite cities. ❤
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Oooh how fabulous!!! I hope you have an amazing time ❤️❤️
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Me too! xoxo
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I know exactly how you feel. We can run away together ☺️
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Let’s do it. I am sad thinking that our trip may have to be postponed. I will wait patiently for word from you. In the meantime, I hope NYC is fabulous!!! ❤
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No not postponed whatsoever. I’m so frozen, I can barely move my fingers lol
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I hope you have on fabulous gloves, girl!!! ❤ I remember when BE and I were there for Valentine's Day all those years ago… FROZEN! We met up with friends and I was wearing a colorful outfit and everyone else was wearing black. They informed me, at the time, that New Yorkers only wear black these days. Boring. 🙂 I just remember the bitter cold winds and NY is a walking city. So glad we are not postponed!!! Drink something warm. Did you already have Murray's?
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Not really 😖. I want to go to New Orleans more than ever now. I need to fill my life with as much happy things as I can. This thing is totally on. Let’s make arrange when I get home. ❤️ off to Murrays for bagel. Nose running lol
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I will wait patiently for your return. Oh, and no need to send those cookies, lovely. I will be in NYC in two weeks as it turns out. Save your dollars, or better yet, purchase yourself some lovely faux fur lined gloves!!! BE will be so jealous of your Murray’s bagel. He hasn’t had a bagel for 33 days (yes, he IS counting!!!). ❤ Hugs and kisses of warmth. xoxo
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Omg really?!?! I wish we times this better.
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Yes, really…. biz trip (Feb. 27-March 8), but those trips are mostly leisure for me. New York City, New Jersey, Atlanta, then New Jersey, again. The trip just solidified, but it is just a short flight from Atlanta to Miami, just saying! 🙂 Enjoy yourself! ❤
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Woo hoo come to Miami!!!! I’m a free girl now, we will have fun.
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I’m booking flights today… I’ll keep you posted!
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Oh yes…that flight is strong in this girl. Although I did not run like Leight (but always wish I had the guts to!), I did disappear on long drives, ignore my phone…end up sitting on the beach a time or two…
Ok runners…head to Florida? Actually, I have the PERFECT PLACE if you guys are really game…Let me know!
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Oh my, SS… you are not the only one in Florida, either. I already have a couple of invites to Florida. Now you have my mind in overdrive. And you have lots of beaches, and pools, and sunshine! This could be amazing!!!
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We do, we do! Just say the word…and let’s put it together!
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Come to Miami!,,.
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I’d go to Florida! I don’t ever want to live there again, but I’d go.
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Ohhh I’m near Florida!!! 😊
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Ok…let’s make a plan!!!
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It sounds like Florida may be do-able. Now, how to coordinate this exactly???
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Well….my email is on my gravatar. If anyone is seriously interested, they can email me – we could send out a doodle (doodle.com) to identify potential dates, and I would be happy to send some ideas of places/prices we could consider. Since it sounds like most people are north of Florida, would the Fernandina Beach, Amelia Island, Jacksonville Beaches or Ponte Vedra Beach areas be do-able? A Brave-Girl Weekend…!!!
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Sign me up for a vacation. I’m in PA. I love to travel. I’m hoping to take my first solo trip (personal not business) this year. Just me . The thought used to scare me. Now it excites me.
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It scared me for a while too. I actually do enjoy traveling with my husband, but sometimes I also just don’t want to see his face for a few hours, or days… you know. I adore PA! ❤
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Oh Kat…this speaks right to my heart. I made running away an art. I would run to a nice hotel for a weekend. Room service, massages, nice dinners, whole days by the pool….No one knew where I was..I refused to turn on my phone. I admit, it was nice..but oh…the coming home! The questions, the scolding, the guilt..not to mention the expense and the fact that it never solved anything. I still have the urge to run away..all the time. Instead, I blog, or sketch, or read. Not nearly as luxurious as the Marriott but I’m told it’s a lot healthier. I get you sister! If you ever want to run away for a vacation, let me know 😊
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Wow, I never did that. I never did run away… once I went to a movie and shut off my phone and then was chastised by my therapist for “scaring” Blue Eyes. I went to a seminar for betrayed spouses about 10 months out from d-day and although it was great, I was homesick and desperate to be back home. I also visited my brother a year ago and was miserable. I am a big wuss. I think I have made a lot of progress since then though.
It would be exciting to coordinate a time and a place for betrayed spouses to meet up and spend a weekend together, seeing each other face to face versus through a computer screen. That would be so much fun! Name the time and the place and I’ll meet you there. I don’t know where you are, I’m west coast, but I will be in New York, New Jersey, and Atlanta end of February/beginning of March. ❤
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I’m in Colorado…I will go anywhere…as long as there is a beach or a pool!
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Ooh, Colorado is close… and cool! I love beaches and pools too! 🙂
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Hey Leigh, did you see the talk about Florida above… Florida has sunshine and pools and beaches, at least the part of Florida I have been to does. 😉
I know this is not a fun time for those of us living the life we are. I hope you have a grand weekend (no roses in sight). ❤
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Kat, would you add me to the list? Would love to see you again!
Hugs, Kit
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I need my Kit fix! Let me know your schedule! ♥️
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I love that saying! So ready to run away. I did it a lot from inside in my addiction. Now I want to run away and try to start clean where I don’t have reminders and old triggers everywhere. Or just take a vacation. 😛
I think you deserve a good time away for yourself. And consider this: Along with the obvious possibility that you might not want to come home, you might find that coming home feels great 🙂
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I cannot wait until our beach house is built. I feel like that will be my place to go and it will be an amazing place to be with just me, and the waves, and the sunsets, and a cup of tea. In the meantime, I kind of do just feel like driving and driving and driving until I am too tired to drive anymore and then just stop there for a bit. Being out west, the place would probably be very desolate and boring and home would look pretty good at that point. 😉
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