Ten years ago, I wrote this post: https://trynottocryonmyrainbow.com/2015/12/08/seeking-happiness/ The post is pretty much all about The Peacemaker, our younger child, and his bout with depression. I end the post, written in December 2015, with: “On a side note, I would like to feel some literal sunshine on my face… we are drowning here in the … Continue reading Seeking happiness, 10 years later
love after addiction
Feeling ungrounded
Today’s view and current mood: cloudy with a chance of sunshine. I’m feeling sad and out of sorts and in trying to figure out exactly what is going on, I’ve come to a few conclusions. First, with my current shoulder situation, things aren’t bouncing off me as easily as they usually do. I’ve had two … Continue reading Feeling ungrounded
Mystery 101
Sunrise photo of Mt. Hood from our house courtesy of Blue Eyes We're having a bit of a heat wave here in Ojai so I'm inside working on the book. Actually it's not even noon, and already 92 degrees. The weather has been odd since we arrived last month. One day it was 80 and … Continue reading Mystery 101
Trust shouldn’t be a compromise
From somewhere on the internet I pretty much agree with the above and realizing hindsight is 20/20, I have to say before dday I trusted Blue Eyes with what I consider the big stuff… I trusted he would be faithful, and be there for me when I was going through a hard time, sorta, generally … Continue reading Trust shouldn’t be a compromise
What’s going on
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6NXnxTNIWkc And so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bedJust to get it all out what's in my headAnd I, I am feeling a little peculiar And so I wake in the morning and I step outside And I take a deep breath and I get real high And I scream from the top … Continue reading What’s going on
You are going to be okay, part two
The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, blossoms are popping, it’s spring in Portland. I’m doing some cleaning of the closets and other such spring kinda stuff. Life is not perfect, but it’s good. Eleven years ago today, I was three months into healing from the most shocking revelation, that my husband was a … Continue reading You are going to be okay, part two
I’m a reflection
New artwork for the beach house master bedroom Sometimes I sit and wonder if it’s me. But then I quickly realize it isn’t. I didn’t create this horrid situation in our marriage. I’m not to blame for the bad shit that transpired. It’s a trick and a trap that those of us who care about … Continue reading I’m a reflection
Some dreams do come true
Last weekend we went to visit Blue Eyes’ father in Los Angeles. Much to my astonishment, it has been an absolute pleasure dealing with Grandpa the past few months. Most of his grumpiness towards Blue Eyes and The Peacemaker is gone. Grandpa now laughs and jokes and says “I love you,” and “I miss you,” … Continue reading Some dreams do come true
Another cursed Valentine’s Day, come and gone…
I dislike Valentine’s Day, very much. I haven’t been shy about it here, that’s for sure. Blue Eyes planned a Staycation for us here at the new Portland Ritz Carlton. It’s a beautiful hotel if a little out of place in this city. Pretty fancy for us, especially with downtown still trying to get back … Continue reading Another cursed Valentine’s Day, come and gone…
Abuse
I’m struggling with a sinus infection. I would like to be out in the garden planting my newly procured veggie starts, however, they will just have to wait a couple more days. The Peacemaker and I returned Sunday night from a month+ at our house in Ojai. This winter, Southern California ended its recent drought … Continue reading Abuse
try not to cry on my rainbow 