- I’m still in Ojai 🙂
- A pleasant surprise
- Travel in the time of covid
- That time I got the shingles
- Birthday Road Trip: Santa Cruz to Ojai and back home
- Finding my place to land
- Birthday Road Trip: Elk, California
- Wendy’s not dead
- Birthday Road Trip: Gold Beach
- You should ask for your money back
- Spring in the time of covid
- Tired of pretending, Part Four
- Tired of pretending: Part Three
- Tired of pretending: Part Two
- Tired of pretending: Part One
- Over Wendy’s dead body
- Dreaming of sleep
- Be kind
- I won’t ask you
- Seven years
- The American Southwest, part ten
- The American Southwest, part nine
- Not buying the bullshit
- The American Southwest, part eight
- The American Southwest, part seven
- The American Southwest, part six
- The American Southwest, part five
- The American Southwest, part four
- The American Southwest, part three
- The American Southwest, part two
- The American Southwest, part one
- Down to your heart
- You are going to be okay, part one
- Surviving 2020
- Why are people protesting
- Purging
- Sunshine on a cloudy day
- Son of a bitch!
- In the time of Covid
- The way we look
- We’re in this together
- Making time for everything
- Life’s great pleasures
- Separated at birth
- Things we remember
- Missing those days
- Balance
- Who does that?
- That damn desk
- What will I remember
- Shelter in place, part 4
- Shelter in place, part 3
- Shelter in place, part 2
- Shelter in place, part 1
- A Friday in February
- Strawberry donuts and lalaland
- Fear of not being loved
- When anger rears its ugly head
- Taking a little time
- Love is… a year later
- Life choices
- I’m still in that box
- On his own terms…
- A burning desire
- A new level of exhaustion
- The elephant in the corner
- For now, I’m keeping him
- Have you ever been to a strip club
- Too soon to say goodbye
- What was I thinking
- What I’m seeking
- I’m not the wife of a porn addict…
- Navigating that pedestal
- In-patient treatment for sex addiction
- The letter
- I’m over it
- There is no better or worse
- Everything I need
- What do I want
- A night out with the in-laws
- They’re talking about me
- I’m that girl
- Help for spouses of porn addicts
- What to do with me…
- And the hits just keep coming
- Stay
- Here we go…
- Standing in judgment
- We lost
- Good people
- Adulting is hard
- Do better
- Mind blown 🤯
- It still happens
- Beautiful places
- Over, but not done
- Precipice
- This too shall pass
- Five Years
- Triggered
- Assumptions
- Integrity
- Nina’s court date
- Two stepping
- B.P.D.
- What we learn
- My identity
- It’s complicated
- Love is more than a feeling
- Will I be okay
- Why…
- Midtown mood
- Dreams come true, part three
- Dreams come true, part two
- Dreams come true, part one
- And flowers grew
- Memories
- Sex Addict
- Beyond sobriety
- I knew it wasn’t perfect
- Thoughts for today
- Strong a.f.
- Pretty things
- Moving on
- I woke up to nothing, part two
- I woke up to nothing, part one
- Don’t play that song
- Gimme that shiny thing
- Adventures afoot
- I’m okay
- Love is…
- This is bullshit
- Rationalization 201
- Paradise
- What if…
- It’s tomorrow
- Here’s where it gets sticky
- Survival
- Circumstantial existence
- Six countries in 16 days
- Life is too short
- Speaking of amends
- Do not say those words…
- Anxiety abroad
- Hyper sensitivity
- I had a friend named Fred
- A tourist in my own town, part 2
- A tourist in my own town, part 1
- Is age a factor
- This is betrayal
- Come on WordPress
- Boundaries
- I can be an angry bitch
- Guess what I do when I’m really pissed off
- Cheap studio apartment for one, please
- And now, for the good stuff
- Where to start…
- What’s different now
- Context
- The letter
- Days like this
- But why?
- Barbies
- Beautiful trauma
- Wait, what just happened?
- Wild horses
- peace
- Rationalization 101
- I’m in the South, y’all
- This is my time
- Did I forget to say how great my husband is?
- A Woman Under the Influence
- Control
- Grounded
- Not the lesser Babka
- Damn if Bernie Sanders didn’t make me sad
- I won’t give up
- Betrayal doesn’t define me
- Family
- Just in case you thought my life was all glamour and bliss…
- Where happiness grows
- I understand why they leave
- Psychologically speaking…
- Let me be clear
- Where did the feelings go?
- Introspection
- Purging
- Dear Addiction, This is Goodbye
- My relationship with s-anon
- Happy blog anniversary to me
- Hiding behind ‘sex addiction’
- Rock bottom
- There are no villains here
- Feeling good
- On being the wife of a sex addict
- I’m okay, but…
- Cycles
- Come on, ladies…
- Mystery man, or liar?
- Beyond the sea
- A weight on my shoulders
- It will never be about us
- Feeling lucky
- Sex, Lies and Obsession
- Issues
- Turbulence on re-entry
- Seven days in Paris
- I’m sorry
- Is trust all it’s cracked up to be?
- Road trip to Yosemite
- More about year four
- Revelations
- Australia, week two: the rainforest
- Australia, week one: Melbourne
- My healing place
- Australia, week one: the big city
- The fight for control
- Another missing piece
- New Zealand, week three: blue skies & sunshine
- I cried, just a little…
- New Zealand, week three: Picton & Akaroa
- New Zealand, week two: cruising
- New Zealand, week one: old friend
- New Zealand, week one: new friends
- I’m baaack
- Charting progress
- The long and winding road
- So, what was wrong with my marriage?
- Let the count down begin…
- Snowed in
- He’s just not that type of guy
- We all need a path out
- Anonymous
- Travelogue: Tokyo
- Living in denial
- My time alone
- Advice not wanted
- I am truly thankful
- Travelogue: I’m all about the Hawaiian beaches, Oahu
- Does time heal wounds
- Getting to that place
- Travelogue: North Carolina
- It still hurts
- Forever a work in progress
- Emotional health
- I’m here
- I’ve made a lot of excuses
- A Girl’s Garden
- I’m a control freak
- We know it’s not our fault
- Complacency
- Who knows the truth
- Just a few tear drops
- And while I’m on the topic…
- “The most important thing is integrity”
- Just another love story. Part seventeen: the early years, with children
- I keep writing
- Trauma is a bitch
- Snow White, again
- Crazy making
- I’m saying those words
- I’m not good enough
- Therapy is nice…
- Breakfast conversation
- Okay, me too!
- My little corner of the world
- Travelogue: It’s all about the food, and the company, NOLA
- I am thankful…
- Closure
- How do I love thee?
- Can it be…
- A forever reminder
- Our time apart
- There’s a cost to all the pain
- Some people will never get it
- Why now
- “I never wanted you to find out the truth…”
- “It will never happen again”
- The ninth step
- And then, the rain
- Sunshine
- Insight and healing
- Just another love story. Part sixteen: jobs for everyone
- On being an addict
- Homage to Georgia
- Lost identity
- The power of positive energy
- Hashtag, The Struggle Is Real
- The new normal
- Just another love story. Part fifteen: a change of scenery, and a baby
- Plan, revised.
- “The only winning move is not to play.”
- Post 300
- On loving kindness
- Fight for me already
- Running away
- Drum roll please… what’s an accountability report again?
- Dreamers
- Why did I do that?
- The only way out, is right on through
- The sinner and the saint
- The third year, part 2
- Here we go again
- Where do I fit in?
- A tumble, then a fall
- Mercy
- The third year, part 1
- What was he thinking
- Worth fighting for
- Looking back, just like any other day
- Looking back, part two
- Looking back, part one
- It warms my heart
- Did someone say Cinnamon Rolls
- Reconciling the differences
- I was doing so well
- Learning to fly
- Life is a good teacher and a good friend
- Holiday Treats
- Just another love story. Part fourteen: Testing the marriage.
- I will never tell him I forgive him
- Just another love story. Part thirteen: California and a wedding
- Nobody said it was easy
- Seeking happiness
- Comfort foods
- Amends, part two
- Amends, part one
- I did it
- The land of the rising sun
- Some days
- Sunday mornings
- And that’s a good thing
- Facebook, you torture me
- Just another love story. Part twelve: coming home
- Revisiting my story
- Why her?
- Like a dog with a bone
- My challenge with blogging
- Just getting by
- I hope you dance
- One year ago today
- Celebrations
- I hate effing roller coasters
- 12 days on the road
- The boy we left behind
- The phone call that changed everything
- Happy Blogiversary
- On letting go, part two
- On letting go, part one
- My day in the big apple
- Note to self
- The battle
- Revisiting empathy
- What happens when they break the rules
- The awakening
- On being “strong”
- The difference between an affair and an addiction
- Protecting my heart
- Love is a precious gift
- Ocean Waters
- Showers
- The good news
- The good news, or the bad news?
- 26 years
- Just another love story. Part eleven: leaving Japan
- Shame
- An afternoon of baking: Chocolate Zucchini Cake
- Take me away
- At the end of the day…
- A book report: The Wednesday Group
- Just another love story. Part ten: January in Japan
- Cherry blossoms in July
- Sleep is a treasured commodity
- Revive me
- A chance at happily ever after
- Why didn’t I think of me
- Torn
- Oh happy day!
- Healthy Eating: Plantain Tostadas
- Living in my moment
- Don’t do it…
- An afternoon of baking: Banana Bread and Blueberry Scones
- Stumbling down the road to recovery
- The highjacking of empathy
- This is no joke…
- A hornet’s nest
- Inspiration
- Happy Dad’s Day
- Why I stay
- And then it all went to s*%t
- Broken
- Accountability Report: Community Supported Agriculture (CSA)
- Liebster Award
- Obliteration of self
- Just another love story. Part nine: arriving Japan
- Please stop saying you’re sorry
- A desperate need for structure
- An afternoon of baking: I wanted my cake, and to eat it too!
- The blog of me
- We are all in pain
- Why are dreams so freakin’ weird
- I don’t actually know what is real
- How I know I wouldn’t do “that”
- Just another love story. Part eight: questioning the engagement
- My first acrylic
- Break Free
- Just another love story. Part seven: the narcissist goes in, guns blazing
- Just another love story. Part six: Blue Eyes graduates college
- let it go
- I don’t want to be preachy, just understanding, but…
- Give It All
- More inspiration
- thoughts for today: fear & strength
- A mountain of fear
- Everybody hurts… sometimes
- How to make a mommy cry
- Hey baby, what’s your sign?
- So what ever happened to that celibacy thing we were doing?
- Was I dropped on a planet full of sex crazed monsters?
- He envisioned the devil
- Remembering Kyoto
- More couple’s therapy
- I need to talk this out, okay?
- I could be happy anywhere
- Couple’s therapy
- I am the wife
- Accountability Report: let’s regroup
- Sex IS optional, part two
- Sex IS optional, part one
- I will not be robbed of my story
- Evolution of a friendship
- Travelogue: Paris, March 2015 (three short days)
- Travelogue: Paris past and present (part four)
- “I know how difficult it must be…”
- Confession to make
- Accountability Report: I cheated
- Caught between
- Travelogue: a quick trip to London
- Travelogue: Paris past and present (part three)
- Continuing to purge
- Letting go of the dream
- Accountability Report. Time to check back in.
- Travelogue: Paris past and present (part two)
- On the plane home
- Travelogue: Paris past and present (part one)
- Needing to vent
- I can see the crash, but I cannot stop the train
- Travelogue: Amsterdam in early March
- A productive conversation
- Reconnecting with Blue Eyes… and with the trauma
- Accountability & Archives
- Too soon
- Just another love story. Part five: learning to compromise
- The angry wife
- For my own good
- Cleansing tears
- Accountability Report. Week Two
- Just another love story. Part four: meeting the parents
- And that would be gaslighting
- It started on Valentine’s Day
- Accountability Report. Week One.
- Should I thank the flower lady
- Just another love story. Part three: the pregnancy
- One more night
- The year has come and gone
- Health is fleeting
- Can anyone relate?
- Just another love story. Part two: a summer apart
- Tumbling from the pedestal
- Just another love story. Part one: let’s be friends
- Melancholy Sunday
- Unburying the trauma
- The year that felt like a lifetime
- We are all in pain
- And then jet lag happened
- It’s not love. It’s safety I seek
- A ray of sunshine
- What I wish he had said
- How do I know it isn’t real, part two
- How do I know it isn’t real, part one
- We are all just players in his game
- Who killed Bambi’s mother
- Another dark road, part two
- Another dark road, part one
- Balancing out a dysfunctional marriage
- I watched him sleep
- New year, new look
- Saving a marriage
- Guest post: the sex addict speaks about his first step
- Yeah, let’s get this over with right now
- The ambush, part two
- The ambush, part one
- Telling my sister
- I am a strong, joyful woman deserving of happiness
- Fear is my greatest enemy
- Some good news
- Deciding to take my life back
- Bonding road trip from hell, part four
- Bonding road trip from hell, part three
- Bonding road trip from hell, part two
- Bonding road trip from hell, part one
- Stranger things have not happened
- I need a place to hide
- A bridge between sky and earth
- The stalker whore makes an appearance
- The self-cleaning vagina
- The Golden Rule
- Internet, dating, and sex addiction
- So, let’s talk about “mind blowing” sex
- Anxiety
- Unbalanced
- Where my pain comes from today
- I don’t care if the world knows what my secrets are
- Healing hail storm
- A present day breakthrough
- Heartbroken
- I want to go home
- The phone bill doesn’t lie
- Articles on sex addiction
- Feeding the Beast: my husband’s affair partners
- Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight
- Apparently I am just not good at this therapy stuff
- On this day
- He finally called the police
- A quick peek into the very sick mind of a sex addict
- Hospitals, our home away from home
- Flirting with triggers, again
- Falling back in love with my husband
- The Reconnaissance Mission
- Bursting Bubbles
- Hasta la vista, baby!
- A wife’s worst nightmare
- The celibacy fiasco
- Hey, I miss the other women
- I went to a sunshine yellow valley, and I was loved
- Finding my happy place
- Thoughts for the day
- Cleaning the closet with PTSD
- Saying Good-bye
- We told my parents today
- Oh, I forgot one more thing I have learned
- Things I have learned after five months of trauma and a boatload of therapy
- Consequences
- A sweet break from reality
- She haunts these places
- Powerless to the addiction
- Joy will burn out the pain.
- Put it all in a box and hide it away
- Another one bites the dust
- Day Two: Can we fix this mess?
- Day One: How did I get here?
- You can’t always get what you want…
- And the rest of the weekend went like this
- I did not leave tonight
- Building a dream
- I fall apart
- I could star in my own reality show
- The darkness
- As it turns out, I am a quitter
- Today I want to gut the bitch
- Am I losing my mind
- I am alone.
- Contact with the other woman
- These are a few of my favorite triggers
- I will come out of the storm
- Please let me off this psychotherapy hamster wheel
- Planting the seeds
- Trauma on the high seas
- Thank goodness we can’t tell the future
- She walked this path
- Not sure this one’s going to stick either
- Dude, sorry we’re so miserable, but we really do love your ranch
- No More
- Leave your baggage at the door and join me for a little celebration
- A very long letter to the delusional, hoarding, alcoholic whore who thinks my husband gives a damn about her!
- I hate pretending
- You expect me to believe this is addiction?
- Out with the old, in with the new
- A downward spiral into my abyss
- OMG, are you effing kidding me…
- Finding peace in paradise
- triggers and glimmers
- Please make it stop
- I would do it again
- Why is she still calling
- If Facebook were real life and STD’s were still someone else’s problem
- The loss of innocence
- She keeps calling and I am devolving
- Who is my best friend
- What about the others, and a diagnosis
- Damn you Craig, and your list, whoever you are.
- And so it begins
-
Follow
Following
Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
try not to cry on my rainbow 