Insight and healing

I really thought this husband’s words regarding the affect his cheating has had on his family, was worth a reblog.


I had plans to write a completely diiferent post today but a friend I made through social media emailed this to me today and I wanted to share it. It’s written by her husband. He doesn’t blog but keeps a personal journal that he shares with her occasionally. I asked her and him permission to share it. It’s insightful and I think because he has done so much to gain insight, his family has healed greatly despite the ongoing pain that still comes up.

It has been a little over three years since my affair was discovered by my wife. I didn’t think then that we would be at this point in our marriage where we are doing well. My wife’s grief and rage were overwhelming and I didn’t think she would ever get past all the anguish I brought to our marriage.  It overwhelmed her, it impacted our children…

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Just another love story. Part sixteen: jobs for everyone

Oh, I forgot to mention... during all of the turmoil of delivering and bringing baby home, Blue Eyes received in the mail confirmation that he had in fact passed the bar exam. It didn't really help with the job situation at the time, but we had a nice little celebration nonetheless. Blue Eyes' parents came … Continue reading Just another love story. Part sixteen: jobs for everyone

On being an addict

1604895_756889967746550_4417481552340654040_nBelow is an old blog post Blue Eyes wrote while he was working on his fourth step. I thought I had read everything on his blog, but somehow I missed this. Honestly, I think this post speaks so very clearly to his struggle with being an addict. It was extremely difficult for me to read because as he said the same things over and over, the same concepts, the same fears, I could literally feel his emotions rising up in my own chest. I could feel the tenseness and anxiety. I could feel the fear. In my opinion he has made great strides since he wrote this post. I can see the progress. As two flawed people, we continue to work this path together.

Will you hold my hand

19750goscvtuljpgIncoherent Thoughts on Fear

My therapist thought it would be a good idea for me to journal about Fear and specifically as it relates to Women, my mother, the last acting out partner, and my soulmate. Of course I have been in fear about writing this and naturally put it off until I could not take it anymore…

Women in General – because of the relationship with my mom I definitely was uncomfortable and feared woman. I did not know how to have a normal relationship with a woman. I was always latching on, moving to quickly, sexually tilted craving relationships, I would scare woman away. I think I did this because I did not feel worthy and was trying to put a bandage on this huge wound of abandonment. I can remember rejecting girls and later women that had interest in me because I just was afraid and scared…

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