When I was a little girl my Grandma worked at a Veterans of America thrift shop in Southeast Portland. The store was walking distance to my Grandparent's house (the one where I would garden with my Grandpa John on warm summer days). Grandma Elsie had a cute little tan miniature poodle named Tina that she … Continue reading Barbies

On being an addict

1604895_756889967746550_4417481552340654040_nBelow is an old blog post Blue Eyes wrote while he was working on his fourth step. I thought I had read everything on his blog, but somehow I missed this. Honestly, I think this post speaks so very clearly to his struggle with being an addict. It was extremely difficult for me to read because as he said the same things over and over, the same concepts, the same fears, I could literally feel his emotions rising up in my own chest. I could feel the tenseness and anxiety. I could feel the fear. In my opinion he has made great strides since he wrote this post. I can see the progress. As two flawed people, we continue to work this path together.

Will you hold my hand

19750goscvtuljpgIncoherent Thoughts on Fear

My therapist thought it would be a good idea for me to journal about Fear and specifically as it relates to Women, my mother, the last acting out partner, and my soulmate. Of course I have been in fear about writing this and naturally put it off until I could not take it anymore…

Women in General – because of the relationship with my mom I definitely was uncomfortable and feared woman. I did not know how to have a normal relationship with a woman. I was always latching on, moving to quickly, sexually tilted craving relationships, I would scare woman away. I think I did this because I did not feel worthy and was trying to put a bandage on this huge wound of abandonment. I can remember rejecting girls and later women that had interest in me because I just was afraid and scared…

View original post 2,411 more words