try not to cry on my rainbow

Married to a sex addict. Rebuilding a relationship. The recovery journey.

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It’s okay to feel really bad some days

September 14, 2022September 14, 2022 / CrazyKat1963 / 21 Comments

I’m giving myself permission to feel really shitty today. I’m tired. I’m burnt out. I want more happiness in my life. The tears are welling up in the corners of my eyes right now, threatening to spill over, and it’s okay. My chest is tight. I feel like I want to run away. I’m in … Continue reading It’s okay to feel really bad some days

Do you wonder why I run away

July 13, 2022 / CrazyKat1963 / 21 Comments

This is really a post to my husband. A post out of utter frustration to my 8 1/2 years sober sex addict husband. I would talk to him face to face, but he’s too busy working, at 11:30pm. At diagnosis Blue Eyes acknowledged who and what he was and started on his recovery journey… a … Continue reading Do you wonder why I run away

Wendy’s not dead

October 15, 2021October 15, 2021 / CrazyKat1963 / 18 Comments

Being at our beach house has reminded me that when I was here at the end of August, I ended up speaking with Wendy (Over Wendy’s dead body) for quite a while. She’s definitely not dead. She is, however, a bit devastated by the fact that she put up with crazy Ken (her husband of … Continue reading Wendy’s not dead

Not buying the bullshit

November 20, 2020November 20, 2020 / CrazyKat1963 / 13 Comments

That beach house. Last night we had a heated family discussion about our leaky master bedroom fireplace at the beach house. It has not been properly dealt with and when storms blow, rain gets in. It’s not like it floods the place, and the floors are concrete, but the surround is a beautiful custom steel … Continue reading Not buying the bullshit

A Friday in February

March 22, 2020March 22, 2020 / CrazyKat1963 / 9 Comments

Time to finish the posts about our last couple's therapy appointment in Los Angeles. It seems so long ago. The coronavirus situation hadn't even gathered steam at that point. We were still in the throes of mourning my dad's passing, everyone had plenty of toilet paper. The toilet paper thing is still odd to me. … Continue reading A Friday in February

Strawberry donuts and lalaland

March 15, 2020March 16, 2020 / CrazyKat1963 / 4 Comments

I realize it's been a while since I started writing about our latest couple's therapy session in Los Angeles, which actually happened over two weeks ago. I have one more post to write to finish it up, but first I want to share a little love for the city of angels. And, to let everyone … Continue reading Strawberry donuts and lalaland

Fear of not being loved

March 8, 2020March 8, 2020 / CrazyKat1963 / 23 Comments

During our last therapy appointment Blue Eyes brought up me, my dad, and one of my nieces as examples of people who live honestly and openly without fear and how he wants to emulate our behavior. He wants to be like us. He talked about the things he loves about me and how upon meeting … Continue reading Fear of not being loved

Love is… a year later

February 17, 2020February 17, 2020 / CrazyKat1963 / 16 Comments

It must be Valentine's Day that gets me thinking this way. Last year at this time I wrote this Love is entry. I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day. I have written about this numerous times, and the year he spent Valentine's Day with her in Tokyo (2010, crazy it's been 10 years!), ew, it's ugly no … Continue reading Love is… a year later

Life choices

February 15, 2020February 15, 2020 / CrazyKat1963 / 15 Comments

As previously mentioned, we recently returned from a business trip to Japan. We love Japan. It is like a second home to us. Our trips to Tokyo are spent with Blue Eyes in meetings and me working from the hotel, plus some time, whatever we can carve out between all of our schedules, with my … Continue reading Life choices

I’m still in that box

February 12, 2020February 13, 2020 / CrazyKat1963 / 23 Comments

My baby brother, the Listener, the one who works for us and knows everything, called my mobile phone last Thursday at about 1:30pm. He didn't beat around the bush. He said, "dad is gone." Even though I knew what was coming, the words still hit me with an awful force. It wasn't shock or surprise, … Continue reading I’m still in that box

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  • Toxic People December 25, 2022
  • Deflection December 16, 2022
  • It’s a good thing: brunch October 18, 2022
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  • Severance September 20, 2022
  • It’s okay to feel really bad some days September 14, 2022
  • For the love of road trips, part 4 September 14, 2022
  • I’m not your competition… August 31, 2022
  • For the love of road trips, part 3 August 25, 2022

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Recent Posts

  • Cheers to 2023! 🥂
  • Toxic People
  • Deflection
  • It’s a good thing: brunch
  • Work life balance

Recent Comments

Dave Gardner on Cheers to 2023! 🥂
CrazyKat1963 on Cheers to 2023! 🥂
CrazyKat1963 on Cheers to 2023! 🥂
CrazyKat1963 on Cheers to 2023! 🥂
CrazyKat1963 on Cheers to 2023! 🥂

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