Lassen Volcanic National Park Years ago I had planned to write a travel blog, but things got in the way and although the domain still sits out there, I never did really bring it to life. But this blog has endured, so I include my travel posts here. Back in May, I embarked on remodeling … Continue reading Nomads
journaling my life
What doesn’t kill you…
Well ain’t that the truth! Serenity Prayer: Blue Eyes’ response to my previous post’s questions (from his blog, where he answered, not to my face by the way): “If Crazy Kat died tomorrow, would I feel like I had been a good partner? Do I feel like I gave her the time she deserved? Do … Continue reading What doesn’t kill you…
If I died tomorrow
Blue Eyes and I returned this morning from a business trip back east. It was one of those whirlwind situations where he scheduled like 14 meetings a day including all meals with clients. I was semi prepared for this, it’s Blue Eyes after all. But because I’m still kinda melancholy over the loss of my … Continue reading If I died tomorrow
September 23, 1984
It was on this day 42 years ago that Blue Eyes and I intimately bonded our relationship. https://trynottocryonmyrainbow.com/2015/02/11/just-another-love-story-part-three-the-pregnancy/ This was a turning point from which I would never go back. I became pregnant, then a month later lost the pregnancy. I have a memory like a steel trap. It was a difficult time. We were … Continue reading September 23, 1984
Why no tears
A bundle of September dahlias from the garden My good friend Dee, appeared on this blog a few times early on, has passed from rectal cancer. I’m normally a very emotional, ugly cry, kind of person when dealing with the death of someone I am close to, and even people I’m not close to, so … Continue reading Why no tears
Reminding myself to breathe
Oh my god there has been so much going on in our lives I want to scream and run far far away and just be. Just be still, and quiet, and alone. It doesn’t much matter where, just that I can vanquish the noise. Reminding myself of the good things. It’s summer. The weather has … Continue reading Reminding myself to breathe
I’m an introvert
I recently started following a number of Substack accounts and one I particularly connect with is INTROVERT’S INTRO. I tried to figure out an easy way to embed a post but am too exhausted to make it happen today so I’m cutting and pasting. Yesterday’s post was titled: THE INTROVERT’S PARADOX: WHY WE OVERSHARE, THEN … Continue reading I’m an introvert
Trauma rearing its ugly head again
This is not a post about Blue Eyes or Sex Addiction. It's a post about my own family of origin and dealing with the dynamics of fallible people making stupid decisions. I do not for one minute think I am anywhere near perfect. I know I have lots and lots of faults, just like everyone … Continue reading Trauma rearing its ugly head again
Compromise
That’s the name of the game. Blue Eyes’ Ojai office. Done and dusted. I had fun putting it all together, and he loves it! “A compromise is an agreement where opposing sides give up some of what they want to find a solution that everyone can accept, settling a dispute through mutual concessions rather than continuing … Continue reading Compromise
12 years later…
2025 First, I will say, that living 30 years with an undiscovered and therefore unrecovered addict, and another 12 years with a recovering addict, now, in the year 2026, things aren’t bad. I guess, at this point, as the wife of a sex addict, I can say, things are good. Our marriage is fine. Nobody’s … Continue reading 12 years later…
