Time to finish the posts about our last couple's therapy appointment in Los Angeles. It seems so long ago. The coronavirus situation hadn't even gathered steam at that point. We were still in the throes of mourning my dad's passing, everyone had plenty of toilet paper. The toilet paper thing is still odd to me. … Continue reading A Friday in February
trauma therapy
Fear of not being loved
During our last therapy appointment Blue Eyes brought up me, my dad, and one of my nieces as examples of people who live honestly and openly without fear and how he wants to emulate our behavior. He wants to be like us. He talked about the things he loves about me and how upon meeting … Continue reading Fear of not being loved
When anger rears its ugly head
Our therapy appointment on Friday began with the therapist asking how I was getting along since my dad's passing. I told her it had only been a few days since his funeral, which had been overwhelming, but that I was doing pretty well as long as I don't watch the video someone took of all … Continue reading When anger rears its ugly head
I’m still in that box
My baby brother, the Listener, the one who works for us and knows everything, called my mobile phone last Thursday at about 1:30pm. He didn't beat around the bush. He said, "dad is gone." Even though I knew what was coming, the words still hit me with an awful force. It wasn't shock or surprise, … Continue reading I’m still in that box
What I’m seeking
When I was in the trauma therapist's office last month, she asked me to think of something that brought me peace. Something I could focus on to calm my breathing and use during somatic healing. Sitting there in the middle of Los Angeles on a sunny 70 degree December afternoon, all I could think about … Continue reading What I’m seeking
Everything I need
Malibu, Photo Credit: Jenna Day There's a piece of me that belongs to Los Angeles. I'm a west coast girl and have been visiting LA since long before I met my husband, and I met him at 20! Blue Eyes is from The San Fernando Valley, just northwest of Los Angeles proper. He's a "Valley … Continue reading Everything I need
What do I want
I'm still counting down the days to trauma therapy... four more. One of the things the trauma therapist asked for was a document explaining what I hoped for our time together. What I want to accomplish. Here's what I sent her. I honestly didn't know what to say. It was difficult to write out how … Continue reading What do I want
They’re talking about me
My sister was talking about me. This would be the sister who shared the same divorced parents, the same childhood experiences, the same trauma. Despite her mental illness, or maybe because of it, she is sharp as a tack. She's insightful, and intuitive, and I know she looks up to me. I'm her big sister, … Continue reading They’re talking about me
Help for spouses of porn addicts
I don’t normally recommend books I haven’t read, but I’m gonna do that today. Recovering Porn Addict While Joshua is taking today off to do Christmas-y things with his family (for some reason the WordPress re-blog wouldn’t work for me, so please link to his blog from above), I’m going to purchase his book and … Continue reading Help for spouses of porn addicts
Boundaries
I have learned that in order to protect myself from pain, there are numerous relationships in my life for which I need to set boundaries. The first relationship was with my sister who suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder with Bi-Polar Tendencies. Yeah, that's a mouthful. She is my younger sister by five and a half … Continue reading Boundaries
try not to cry on my rainbow 