We watched the first season of the Apple TV+ series Severance. The first couple episodes had me asking about a million questions, science fiction tends to do that to me, and not getting answers and I wasn't convinced it was a show I wanted to continue watching. However, by the season finale, I was more … Continue reading Severance
sex addict recovery
Do you wonder why I run away
This is really a post to my husband. A post out of utter frustration to my 8 1/2 years sober sex addict husband. I would talk to him face to face, but he’s too busy working, at 11:30pm. At diagnosis Blue Eyes acknowledged who and what he was and started on his recovery journey… a … Continue reading Do you wonder why I run away
You are going to be okay, part one
A very pretty day in the neighborhood WordPress reminded me last weekend that this blog is now six years old. I started writing about nine months into my healing journey. I had been journaling for months and it took quite a while to put all those words into legitimate, readable blog entries. I finally caught … Continue reading You are going to be okay, part one
We’re in this together
Huge peony blooms from my cutting garden. I know it’s confusing to some, how or even why I would want to stay partnered with a person who lied and cheated and systematically betrayed me. How to get past the wounds, and why? Why trust? Why knowingly make myself vulnerable to a proven abuser. The question … Continue reading We’re in this together
Who does that?
Taking a Break I've linked here Blue Eyes' latest post. He doesn't usually ask for advice or comments on his blog. He started the blog as a way to work on some of the tasks he was assigned by his then therapist. A way to get some of his thoughts off and out of him, … Continue reading Who does that?
A Friday in February
Time to finish the posts about our last couple's therapy appointment in Los Angeles. It seems so long ago. The coronavirus situation hadn't even gathered steam at that point. We were still in the throes of mourning my dad's passing, everyone had plenty of toilet paper. The toilet paper thing is still odd to me. … Continue reading A Friday in February
Fear of not being loved
During our last therapy appointment Blue Eyes brought up me, my dad, and one of my nieces as examples of people who live honestly and openly without fear and how he wants to emulate our behavior. He wants to be like us. He talked about the things he loves about me and how upon meeting … Continue reading Fear of not being loved
When anger rears its ugly head
Our therapy appointment on Friday began with the therapist asking how I was getting along since my dad's passing. I told her it had only been a few days since his funeral, which had been overwhelming, but that I was doing pretty well as long as I don't watch the video someone took of all … Continue reading When anger rears its ugly head
Love is… a year later
It must be Valentine's Day that gets me thinking this way. Last year at this time I wrote this Love is entry. I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day. I have written about this numerous times, and the year he spent Valentine's Day with her in Tokyo (2010, crazy it's been 10 years!), ew, it's ugly no … Continue reading Love is… a year later
I’m still in that box
My baby brother, the Listener, the one who works for us and knows everything, called my mobile phone last Thursday at about 1:30pm. He didn't beat around the bush. He said, "dad is gone." Even though I knew what was coming, the words still hit me with an awful force. It wasn't shock or surprise, … Continue reading I’m still in that box
try not to cry on my rainbow 