The next message Blue Eyes sent early Tuesday morning went like this: Been thinking of going to beach house Friday through Sunday or Monday morning are you up for it? What do you think? Ironically, one of the only "conversations" we had had the night before involved me telling Blue Eyes that our son and … Continue reading I woke up to nothing, part two
sex addict recovery
I woke up to nothing, part one
Jack Kornfield said, “At the end of life, our questions are very simple: Did I live fully? Did I love well?” I've always held my husband completely accountable for all the lies, all the cheating, all the betrayal. Forgiveness came fairly easy to me (perhaps too easy). I don't hold hate and resentment in my … Continue reading I woke up to nothing, part one
Gimme that shiny thing
I had a rough week last week. Pretty sure this week is going to be filled with some ranting posts. Shall we begin? Work has been hellish lately. For quite some time I have focused on merely getting Blue Eyes through the day. I'm there for him, to talk, to discuss, to problem solve. I … Continue reading Gimme that shiny thing
This is bullshit
Full disclosure. I wrote this title and the first few sentences below, but I don't remember doing it. I sat down to write a post today, and here was this. I was going to write about something different, but after reading blackacre's Post + comments, here I am. Blue Eyes is very aware of my … Continue reading This is bullshit
What if…
What would my life be like right now if I had chosen to walk away from my marriage at discovery of my husband's secret life? Or any time before that? Or, what if he had chosen to walk away at some point, any point. Where would I be right now? As The Shrink once said … Continue reading What if…
Here’s where it gets sticky
I've written numerous times here of my support of the 12 step program for addicts, especially sex addicts. I have read numerous blog entries over the years from people whose opinion differs from mine. I get it. I have actually never been to a 12 step meeting, of any kind, so why would I think … Continue reading Here’s where it gets sticky
Circumstantial existence
Ever since I read Walking the Journey's post last month titled I know what I would do. I have been thinking about this concept of whether or not I would want to or be able to tell a friend that their spouse is cheating, or if my friend is the cheater, would I want to, … Continue reading Circumstantial existence
Speaking of amends
While I was searching around for my old post about the other woman stalking us on an airplane, I somehow came across this post regarding Blue Eyes' 8th & 9th steps and making amends. And, because Blue Eyes brought up amends in a comment on my last post (we're not together right now, I'm at … Continue reading Speaking of amends
Do not say those words…
Now that American Thanksgiving has passed I have a bit of a breather before I start preparing for Christmas and the New Year. The Thanksgiving holiday was wonderful. I arrived at the beach house with two full days to prep, and I really only needed one. I can be quite productive when I put my … Continue reading Do not say those words…
Hyper sensitivity
These thoughts have been swirling around in my head for a while now. Not sure any of this will make a whole lot of sense. They weren't prompted by any one person, or any one recent incident, but merely a conglomeration of things that have been happening in my life, things I have read on … Continue reading Hyper sensitivity
