January 11, 2014. Discovery Day.
October 3, 2014. After nearly nine months of journaling, my ramblings become a blog.
The story in my head plays out. I am a happily married 50-year old woman with two amazing and mostly grown sons. My husband and I have been best friends and partners for 30 years. We share everything. We are passionate, loving, kind, and show each other mutual respect, until I realize, one of us isn’t living the same story. I receive a heartbreaking phone call. The truth is revealed. Within days my husband is diagnosed as a sex addict and I find myself suffering from complex PTSD as my new story includes years of lies and betrayal. Suddenly I am living a nightmare. I fear I cannot survive. Someone please wake me, soon. This is my story.
Update: June 25, 2016. Two years, five months and fourteen days later.
I have battled the trauma, and won. There is no waking up from the nightmare, there is only healing. I will never be hurt in the same way again. My marriage is in tact. My husband is 30 months sober and is working his ninth step. He will forever be recovering and as long as I am married to him, I will be the wife of a sex addict. The self destructive and abusive behavior is in his past. He wants to be the person everyone thought he was. He is recovering. The first 24 months of this blog (my personal journal) were full of pain and suffering, and eventually healing. I am in a better place now and frequently include here glimpses into my very much real and mostly happy life. I include thoughts, poems, rants, raves, positive messages (mostly as reminders to me), recipes, and travel entries. I am grateful for the good in my life and the light inside that shone through the darkness to guide me back to me.