The next message Blue Eyes sent early Tuesday morning went like this: Been thinking of going to beach house Friday through Sunday or Monday morning are you up for it? What do you think? Ironically, one of the only "conversations" we had had the night before involved me telling Blue Eyes that our son and … Continue reading I woke up to nothing, part two
healing
I woke up to nothing, part one
Jack Kornfield said, “At the end of life, our questions are very simple: Did I live fully? Did I love well?” I've always held my husband completely accountable for all the lies, all the cheating, all the betrayal. Forgiveness came fairly easy to me (perhaps too easy). I don't hold hate and resentment in my … Continue reading I woke up to nothing, part one
I’m okay
Last week I drove to the beach house by myself. Blue Eyes and I were in a bit of a spat regarding a work issue. I had done my share, it was time for him to kick in. He promised me he would, then he didn't. It infuriated me. It was a big deal. I … Continue reading I’m okay
Here’s where it gets sticky
I've written numerous times here of my support of the 12 step program for addicts, especially sex addicts. I have read numerous blog entries over the years from people whose opinion differs from mine. I get it. I have actually never been to a 12 step meeting, of any kind, so why would I think … Continue reading Here’s where it gets sticky
Survival
I remember the day I found out my sister was a cutter. She always did the cutting in private, she hid the wounds and the scars. Her pain was hers and cutting was an outlet to release the pain. I knew she didn't do it for attention. I knew she was suffering an agony I … Continue reading Survival
Anxiety abroad
I am currently in Japan. Blue Eyes is super busy with work while I get to enjoy some leisure and family time. We're celebrating my Mom's 75th and my niece's (The Princess) 4th birthday here in Tokyo. My baby brother (GQ) has lived in Tokyo for 24+ years now and I'm glad we have business … Continue reading Anxiety abroad
Hyper sensitivity
These thoughts have been swirling around in my head for a while now. Not sure any of this will make a whole lot of sense. They weren't prompted by any one person, or any one recent incident, but merely a conglomeration of things that have been happening in my life, things I have read on … Continue reading Hyper sensitivity
Is age a factor
I realize there will be no scientific analysis here. I am merely throwing out something that has been rattling around in my brain for quite some time. Maybe a discussion will ensue. I hope so. How do betrayed spouses decide whether to stay or go. What are all the factors, realizing each of us has … Continue reading Is age a factor
Boundaries
I have learned that in order to protect myself from pain, there are numerous relationships in my life for which I need to set boundaries. The first relationship was with my sister who suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder with Bi-Polar Tendencies. Yeah, that's a mouthful. She is my younger sister by five and a half … Continue reading Boundaries
Where to start…
Wow, it's been a while. It's August already. How did that happen? I missed a whole month here on the blog. I have been trying to keep up with the few blogs I follow. Please know that I am here and I feel the pain. I remember all the stages, vividly. I am thrilled and … Continue reading Where to start…
