My dahlias are still going strong and bringing me lots of joy! I received the quote below in an inspirational email from the best trauma therapist in the world... at least she is that to me! These words spoke to me. The old me, before discovery, would have wanted to solve all my problems with … Continue reading Down to your heart
healing
You are going to be okay, part one
A very pretty day in the neighborhood WordPress reminded me last weekend that this blog is now six years old. I started writing about nine months into my healing journey. I had been journaling for months and it took quite a while to put all those words into legitimate, readable blog entries. I finally caught … Continue reading You are going to be okay, part one
Purging
Since Blue Eyes reconnected with his parents in December, I have not had any contact with them other than the one dinner in Los Angeles. This is a good thing for me. Blue Eyes tells me they are quite often these days sending him messages asking about Portland. They express disgust with what is theoretically … Continue reading Purging
The way we look
This came across my Instagram last month and it struck me. Made me stop what I was doing and just think. Think about who I am. Think about how I think about myself. How I judge myself for the way I look. I'm 57 years old. I'm aging, it's hard. Things don't bounce back the … Continue reading The way we look
Taking a little time
It's been a rough couple weeks. Processing my dad's death hasn't been easy, and then there was the graveside funeral and memorial luncheon less than a week ago. My dad touched a lot of lives, married into a huge family, had his own bunch of kids, nine of us, who then had 17 grandchildren, plus … Continue reading Taking a little time
What I’m seeking
When I was in the trauma therapist's office last month, she asked me to think of something that brought me peace. Something I could focus on to calm my breathing and use during somatic healing. Sitting there in the middle of Los Angeles on a sunny 70 degree December afternoon, all I could think about … Continue reading What I’m seeking
I’m over it
photo credit: Justin Kauffman Facebook reminded me that five years ago last night I found myself on a plane with my husband's affair partner. I mean I didn't put that on Facebook, but yesterday I was reminded that we were returning from a corporate retreat in Hawaii. I was less than a year post discovery … Continue reading I’m over it
Everything I need
Malibu, Photo Credit: Jenna Day There's a piece of me that belongs to Los Angeles. I'm a west coast girl and have been visiting LA since long before I met my husband, and I met him at 20! Blue Eyes is from The San Fernando Valley, just northwest of Los Angeles proper. He's a "Valley … Continue reading Everything I need
What do I want
I'm still counting down the days to trauma therapy... four more. One of the things the trauma therapist asked for was a document explaining what I hoped for our time together. What I want to accomplish. Here's what I sent her. I honestly didn't know what to say. It was difficult to write out how … Continue reading What do I want
They’re talking about me
My sister was talking about me. This would be the sister who shared the same divorced parents, the same childhood experiences, the same trauma. Despite her mental illness, or maybe because of it, she is sharp as a tack. She's insightful, and intuitive, and I know she looks up to me. I'm her big sister, … Continue reading They’re talking about me
