Yep, it’s true. Let that fire inside burn! 🔥 I made it to Japan where triggers abound, but they can’t get me anymore. I’ve built a wall of strength around me. It took a few years, but I won. I’ve already got a bit of jet lag, which usually makes me loopy and somewhat ungrounded, … Continue reading A burning desire
survival after betrayal
A new level of exhaustion
Looking back on 2019, I had a pretty great ride. There were ups and downs throughout, but by the end of the year, everything seemed to make sense. Not all was fair, no, not fair, but I had metabolized the crazy (meth addict breaking into our house) and the insane (the arbitration verdict) and the … Continue reading A new level of exhaustion
The elephant in the corner
I ran across an old blog post yesterday and there was a comment by Pablo's Wife, one of my favorite betrayed wife bloggers. She hasn't blogged for over 2 1/2 years, but hers was one of the first, if not THE first blog I followed back in 2014. I love her wit and her honesty. In … Continue reading The elephant in the corner
For now, I’m keeping him
Saturday, January 11th, approximately 1:00pm, was the six year anniversary of the phone call from the other woman. The phone call that forever changed the lives of my little family. I haven't said it in a while, but it is true that if this awful woman hadn't called my phone, it is likely that I … Continue reading For now, I’m keeping him
What was I thinking
God only knows what I was going on about last night when the topic of me finding the email from the other woman on his laptop all those years ago came up. It was only last night that this conversation happened and I honestly can't remember. My brain works in mysterious ways sometimes. But that … Continue reading What was I thinking
What I’m seeking
When I was in the trauma therapist's office last month, she asked me to think of something that brought me peace. Something I could focus on to calm my breathing and use during somatic healing. Sitting there in the middle of Los Angeles on a sunny 70 degree December afternoon, all I could think about … Continue reading What I’m seeking
Navigating that pedestal
To put someone on a pedestal: To believe or behave as if someone or something is perfect, wonderful, or better than others, to the extent that one is unable to see its potential flaws or faults. Once again, comments by bloggers have prompted a post. In a comment by beleeme on my last post, she … Continue reading Navigating that pedestal
In-patient treatment for sex addiction
The phone call from the other woman happened on a dreary January Saturday afternoon in 2014. The Seahawks were set to play at 1:35pm and we were planning to watch the game in our family room with our son. He struggles with an anxiety disorder, and had recently returned mid-term from his sophomore year of … Continue reading In-patient treatment for sex addiction
The letter
Top of the Falls. Yosemite. This post is kind of a continuation of my last only in the fact that the acting out partner played a huge role in Blue Eyes secret sex addicted life for the eight years before discovery. For those who have followed me for a while, or who have read my … Continue reading The letter
There is no better or worse
Photo by Alex Iby Some recent reading has prompted me to write about a lesson I learned VERY early on in this betrayed wife journey. Blue Eyes learned a similar lesson in his own way. Ironically I could see the lesson he needed to learn far more quickly than I could see my own. When … Continue reading There is no better or worse
