Photo: my favorite tea cup from my collection, and my favorite macarons from my favorite local bakery. Disclaimer: this photo was not taken recently. I am not sitting here eating a pile of french macarons. 🙂 I guess I am in some kind of hella writing mood today, this week, this month? Blue Eyes and … Continue reading The blog of me
I am reblogging an old post of mine because I want to remind myself of my own words as frustration sets in, once again. I think May 2015 is going to go down as my second busiest blogging month yet. I am not quite sure why, other than we have been home most of the month and its the one year anniversary of a few heartbreaking occurrences in my life including the horrible card from the other woman and my requiring a hospital visit after a particularly scary self harm incident. It’s been a year since last year’s horrible month of May and a birthday I barely remember, an event I was so numbed out for I wonder if it even happened. I feel like I have made a lot of progress, but I still need my blog and I post on my blog hopefully to help me heal and feel better. I have learned that I still need to be mindful of the blogs I follow and also to not let comments on my own blog affect my mood negatively. Thankfully, I have the most amazing followers and the vast majority of comments are from people who, I feel, get me and appreciate me and my story. It is in this spirt that I reblog this entry from January of this year.
If I ever thought I would run out of things to write for my blog, I was mistaken. Even if there is nothing interesting enough to write about going on in my life, other bloggers daily give me ideas of topics to write about. Every day I am either prompted by another’s blog topic, or a comment on my own blog, or a comment on someone else’s blog.
After receiving some rather opinionated comments on my blog about my emotional condition, and then having two followers publicly announce they would not continue following me because I, at this time, have chosen not to partake in more individual therapy, I decided to address my thoughts about blogging.
Today I took stock in why I decided to start a blog in the first place. I had kept a journal since discovery day. I did not start my journal because I was so…
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Yesterday I finally watched the Esther Perel TEDTalk titled: 'Rethinking infidelity... a talk for anyone who has ever loved,' which had been floating around my Facebook feed. I hadn't seen it linked on any of the blogs I follow, but it was linked to my Take Your Life Back Seminar Facebook page. It was kind of … Continue reading Why are dreams so freakin’ weird
"I love myself!" It was a downright hellish battle for my trauma therapist to get me to say those words last year. In one of our earlier sessions, she said, "Kat, do you love yourself?" And I sat there, for a long time, thinking. And then tears started rolling down my cheeks. At that point, I … Continue reading I don’t actually know what is real
I was going to reblog this (which I have never done before, reblogged anything), but in true Kat style, I decided to link it so I had plenty of space to write out my own comments. I enjoyed reading this post by marriagerecoveryblog. The other woman's hatred for the wife I love how she tells her … Continue reading How I know I wouldn’t do “that”
STALKER NUMBER ONE Somehow in my frantic quest to get the words out on my last entry, I completely forgot to include the story of my first stalker, also known as Blue Eyes' first girlfriend, Michelle. After Blue Eyes and I moved into our own apartment, he was feeling better post winter break surgery, he was … Continue reading Just another love story. Part eight: questioning the engagement
Okay, guys. I'm really putting myself out here for this one (on my mostly anonymous blog, ha!). Be kind, be kind. Just kidding. I already put my weight on this blog, what could be more humiliating than that!!! Actually, I love constructive criticism, especially since I am a work in progress and everything I do … Continue reading My first acrylic
I have recommended this Tony Porter: A Call To Men TED Talk before in comments to other bloggers, but I haven't ever posted it here on my blog. Blue Eyes was referred to this talk by one of his therapists. He has recommended it to others because it so resonates with him. He associates himself … Continue reading Break Free
This was the plan: Blue Eyes would return home with his parents after graduation. He was scheduled for intestinal surgery a few days later. I would stay at school and work my job. His surgery was scheduled for early in the morning with an expected surgery time of 4-5 hours. His family would call me … Continue reading Just another love story. Part seven: the narcissist goes in, guns blazing
Well, it’s been a while, but I feel that urge again to dip back into the memory banks of mine and Blue Eyes first years together. The years that would shape our eventual married life and impact decades of moments as a couple and as a family. After Blue Eyes returned from his winter break trip home, … Continue reading Just another love story. Part six: Blue Eyes graduates college