I'm still counting down the days to trauma therapy... four more. One of the things the trauma therapist asked for was a document explaining what I hoped for our time together. What I want to accomplish. Here's what I sent her. I honestly didn't know what to say. It was difficult to write out how … Continue reading What do I want
mental health
A night out with the in-laws
Father-in-law chose the place and time. Dinner at an Italian Restaurant in Los Angeles at 7:00pm. We decided to take an Uber to avoid driving in LA rush hour traffic. We arrived about 15 minutes early. The restaurant was, shall I say, a throw back to a different era. We recently watched the excruciatingly long … Continue reading A night out with the in-laws
They're talking about me
My sister was talking about me. This would be the sister who shared the same divorced parents, the same childhood experiences, the same trauma. Despite her mental illness, or maybe because of it, she is sharp as a tack. She's insightful, and intuitive, and I know she looks up to me. I'm her big sister, … Continue reading They're talking about me
I'm that girl
The good girl. The designated driver. The one who looks around for who might have dropped that $20 bill in the mall parking lot and then turns it in to the security desk. I'm the one who got straight A's, always. The teacher's pet. The good friend, never the mean girl. I'm the one who … Continue reading I'm that girl
What to do with me…
This morning a 20-something hazmat clean up crew guy tells me there is no way he believes I am over 50 years old. Thank you kind young man, you made my day. But it didn't last long. And the fact that a hazmat crew is at my house hits me like a ton of bricks. … Continue reading What to do with me…
B.P.D.
I wrote a post a couple years ago about suicide and also bits about my sister's mental illness. It will never be about us I describe a situation where she had harmed herself and was put in a suicidal lock-down ward of a local hospital. I took to her a gift of a little Beanie … Continue reading B.P.D.
Midtown mood
We have a number of different views out of our 14th story hotel room here in midtown Manhattan. We're here for business, but also visiting our Brooklyn son. The above is the view I have been staring at most of the day. I don't seem to be able to control my mood here in the … Continue reading Midtown mood
What’s different now
This is NOT a recap post about what is different in my life now versus prior to discovery of my husband's betrayal and secret life. That would be one bloody long post. Been there, done that. No, this is a post about my health. I haven't really posted about my health in a very long … Continue reading What’s different now
Context
I'm still completely enamored with Pink's latest album, Beautiful Trauma. I listen to it often. Many of the songs resonate. I've already written about a couple of her latest songs. Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken, today's song choice, feels particularly poignant these days. Not only is the song a venue for Alecia's amazing vocal talents, but … Continue reading Context
This is my time
I'm leaving early tomorrow morning, heading east, and I plan to be away from home for at least five weeks. I need this time. I feel lucky because my kids are grown and anything I need to do for work (which is very little at this point) can be done remotely. I'm lucky because my … Continue reading This is my time
