There are a few reasons I am feeling much happier today. First, Blue Eyes and I had a long discussion this afternoon regarding taking a break from couple's counseling. At first he thought we should continue because I seemed to be in a better mood when we left counseling each Tuesday afternoon. After I explained … Continue reading Oh happy day!
therapy
And then it all went to s*%t
This afternoon we attended our weekly couple's therapy appointment. Things were going pretty well. We were discussing the "new" schedule and how Blue Eyes was generally handling being at work more and having all that responsibility and not having his addiction as a coping mechanism, and his eyes started tearing up and became red rimmed. He … Continue reading And then it all went to s*%t
A desperate need for structure
As previously mentioned, a separation period has been discussed. I had suggested starting with three months. When Blue Eyes asked me when I wanted to start the separation I said, "I don't." He seemed confused. I explained to him that when I spoke of a separation, I wanted him to know how I thought it would … Continue reading A desperate need for structure
Couple’s therapy
Things are going well. Really well actually until today when my husband said something stupid and careless and my mood took a nose dive. Thankfully it was short lived, but totally unnecessary. His thoughtless blunders continue to remind me of the excruciatingly slow progress of his recovery and my constant fear that what I really want … Continue reading Couple’s therapy
Sex IS optional, part two
I never addressed the video link in my last post. Not sure music needs explaining, everyone has their own interpretation and there in lies part of the great impact of music. Music often resonates deeply for me especially if there are lyrics and they align with my beliefs or experiences. In this case, I used that … Continue reading Sex IS optional, part two
Sex IS optional, part one
Disclaimer: I love sex BUT I am not an exhibitionist. I am practical. I am mature and thoughtful and respectful. My husband is a sex addict. That complicates things. Also, I am having a very weird and unbalanced week so I will probably share things in this post that I don't normally delve into, eh, … Continue reading Sex IS optional, part one
The angry wife
It's been a tough week. Emotions are running high due to my impending trip out of town. I had a bout with low blood pressure while on a five mile walk with my husband earlier this week. I got through the difficult part of the walk, the first half is up hill. We walk through neighborhoods and … Continue reading The angry wife
And that would be gaslighting
Monday, February 16, 2015: couple’s therapy Due to traveling schedules, we had not been to see Ms. Second Chance for two weeks. I could barely remember what we talked about last time. I’m pretty sure we left needing to further discuss my thoughts on bringing a period of celibacy back in order for Blue Eyes … Continue reading And that would be gaslighting
And then jet lag happened
“I knew that if I allowed fear to overtake me, my journey was doomed. Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing … Continue reading And then jet lag happened
Balancing out a dysfunctional marriage
Journal Entry: November 24, 2014 Once we knew therapy was ending with Chatty Kathy, both my husband and I talked about the fact that we NEEDED to find a new couple's counselor, right away. I no longer go to individual therapy, and my husband is still very much trying to tackle the recovery process. When Blue … Continue reading Balancing out a dysfunctional marriage
try not to cry on my rainbow 