Playing with color: An interpretation of my view, 16" x 20", oil on canvas Progress not perfection, is a running theme around our house. A conversation amongst betrayed spouses this morning regarding empathy made me think of, well, a bunch of my blog entries, but specifically this one: And then it all went to s*%t. That … Continue reading Revisiting empathy
fear
The awakening
Photo credit: photoguy777.deviantart.com/art/Pink-Rose A few days ago I was looking for some paperwork I had carelessly tossed somewhere at some point probably as much as two years ago, and in that process I opened the upper left hand drawer of my desk. Inside that drawer is a desperate and depraved accounting of the first few … Continue reading The awakening
Showers
As I stood in the shower this morning, going about the usual routine of washing and conditioning my hair, cleansing my body, shaving my legs, activities that don't require much thought, I realized in my mind I was planning the day ahead. I was thinking about what was on the schedule. I had spoken to … Continue reading Showers
Why I stay
I have seen this saying floating around the web for a while, and I like it for the sole reason that it makes me think. It speaks to the question of whether people can change, or not. I don't think who we "really" are is a stagnant concept. I don't believe we come into this world … Continue reading Why I stay
thoughts for today: fear & strength
If you let fear control your life you will surely end up in a far worse place than you were trying to avoid. • • • • Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's … Continue reading thoughts for today: fear & strength
The angry wife
It's been a tough week. Emotions are running high due to my impending trip out of town. I had a bout with low blood pressure while on a five mile walk with my husband earlier this week. I got through the difficult part of the walk, the first half is up hill. We walk through neighborhoods and … Continue reading The angry wife
Unburying the trauma
Months ago, I was ruminating on the fact that part of the reason I was struggling so desperately with my husband’s betrayal was not because of the extramarital sex acts he and his affair partners participated in, because deep down, sex is sex to me and I shoved thoughts of those frivolous, filthy liaisons where … Continue reading Unburying the trauma
Guest post: the sex addict speaks about his first step
Journal Entry: October 31, 2014 “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” -Maya Angelou Since my life has been somewhat of a horror show since January, I guess it is appropriate to have my husband join me on this Halloween evening and share some insight into his brain. This morning … Continue reading Guest post: the sex addict speaks about his first step
I am a strong, joyful woman deserving of happiness
Journal Entry: October 26, 2014 At the end of the day, this is my truth. I am strong, I am joyful, and I do deserve happiness. The last day of the workshop was incredibly taxing. If I thought I was tired and drained when I arrived, I had no idea what those words meant. I … Continue reading I am a strong, joyful woman deserving of happiness
Stranger things have not happened
Today. I was going to name my post "Stranger things have happened," but you know what? Stranger things have never happened. While we were in Hawaii, my father got a call from my brother's friend saying she had been trying to get ahold of him for a day, but he was not returning her calls or … Continue reading Stranger things have not happened
try not to cry on my rainbow 