Disclaimer: I love sex BUT I am not an exhibitionist. I am practical. I am mature and thoughtful and respectful. My husband is a sex addict. That complicates things. Also, I am having a very weird and unbalanced week so I will probably share things in this post that I don't normally delve into, eh, … Continue reading Sex IS optional, part one
trauma
A productive conversation
We made it to Amsterdam. When we got off the plane at 7:15am Amsterdam time, 12:15am Salt Lake City time, with no sleep and running on less than five hours from the night before, AND not getting one good night's sleep the entire previous week, I knew I wasn't going to go sightseeing when we … Continue reading A productive conversation
Another dark road, part two
Hello All. Well, this is it, January 11. I have reached the one year anniversary of discovery day. In about eight hours, it will be the exact moment one year ago today that a delusional woman called me on my mobile phone and informed me that she had been having sex with my husband for … Continue reading Another dark road, part two
Another dark road, part one
As I sit here in trigger "happy" Tokyo, I decided I would post this entry from back in Hawaii in December. My words then represent some of my feelings as I sit here in a place where my husband traveled with his affair partner three times over a period of four years. I am journaling, … Continue reading Another dark road, part one
The ambush, part one
Journal Entry: October 30, 2014 This is the note I wrote to my husband after this morning’s disclosure: Some day I hope you can understand that every time, every fucking time you disclose information that you have been keeping from me, in other words lying about, it is like you are stabbing me with a … Continue reading The ambush, part one
Bonding road trip from hell, part one
Journal Entry: October 10, 2014 Beware of the “upgrade.” As previously posted on this blog, we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary this past July. For our anniversary, we had planned to visit the bed & breakfast where we spent our honeymoon all those years ago. We found out earlier in the year, that the inn … Continue reading Bonding road trip from hell, part one
I need a place to hide
Journal Entry: October 6, 2014 It's been a while since I talked about therapy. A couple weeks ago I decided I was ready to be done with my individual work. Basically, I was going round and round with issues with communication with my husband. I communicate, he doesn't. Me continuing to communicate in therapy, by … Continue reading I need a place to hide
The Golden Rule
As I sit here in paradise, it is obvious to me that the trauma symptoms from betrayal know no bounds. It doesn't matter how gorgeous the weather, or how blue the ocean waters, or how vibrant the tropical flowers, or how amazing the view is from the bathtub in our room, trauma is here, permeating … Continue reading The Golden Rule
So, let’s talk about “mind blowing” sex
Journal Entry: September 11, 2014 This term, “mind-blowing” sex has been ruminating in my head for months now. Today is the 8-month anniversary of dday. Early in my trauma journey, I read some blogs and articles by mistresses. I was trying to understand why women cheat with married men, especially single women seeking out married … Continue reading So, let’s talk about “mind blowing” sex
Anxiety
Today I have been away from WordPress for a couple days. I miss it. I miss reading about how people are doing. I miss posting on my own blog. I don’t want to fall too far behind since I have still not caught up on my old journal entries. I am currently in Hawaii managing … Continue reading Anxiety
try not to cry on my rainbow 