On the 11th of last month, we hit eleven years since discovery. Unbelievable how quickly the time has flown. Or has it? Some days yes, many, many days, NO!

I started this entry last month, but didn’t finish it, so now it includes even more fun family stuff. And by FUN, I mean shocking and now, just this week, so very sad…

When I began writing this particular entry, we were on a business trip to Seattle staying at a cool mid century airbnb that had a game room with a pinball machine, shuffleboard, an old school arcade console with something like 4000 games on it. Blue Eyes was in heaven. It’s like he was catapulted back to childhood, high school, college. Scouring the selection for centipede, space invaders, star wars games…

I said to The Peacemaker, “geez it’s a good thing he’s addicted to work, and not video games or we’d be living in squalor, surrounded by electronics we can’t afford.” Blue Eyes said, “but we’d be happy.” But I completely disagreed. I would be miserable. The Peacemaker chimed in, “at least he’s not addicted to heroin.” So true, right? My glass half full kid. 😳

The theme of this post is really about family, not about horrible discoveries that happened on the 11th of January, 11 years ago. In December, Blue Eyes’ dad turned 90. Blue Eyes and the kids visited him. I stayed home. The sister had planned a big dinner celebration after the birthday, for a time that fit her and her children’s schedules. It didn’t fit our schedules, so Blue Eyes planned accordingly with our children and they had a great time. I mean as great a time as you can have with a grumpy 90 year old man! The sister was royally pissed off and refused to see them while they were just a few minutes from her house. Spiteful thing that one.

The Pragmatist was also home for the holidays as was GQ from Tokyo with his little family. The Pragmatist finally decided to share her trans status with the entire family. I have known for less than a year. The Peacemaker has known for longer. My oldest son went from “he” to “they” to “she” and has filed the paperwork in NY state to legally change her name and sex. I don’t pretend to understand all the complex issues around her decision. She’s 33 years old, she can do what she wants. The entire family took the news in stride. Questions were asked and answered.

Like:

Are you still with your girlfriend of 10 years. Answer is yes.

Are you taking hormones. Answer is yes.

Do you wear dresses. Yes (and pants, and everything else).

Will you have any surgeries. No.

Are you worried about the current administration and their stance on transgender status. YES!

There were lots of other questions, like how long have you felt this way (unclear to me, but I look back at photos of hairstyles, mustaches, etc… and think maybe 2 years). Her hair is now very long, her nails are painted, she has regular laser hair removal…

She wants me to ask more questions, but I don’t really have any. We live in a complicated world and she has just made it more so for herself. Such is life. She’s still the same complicated, outgoing, charismatic, intelligent person who loves learning, and teaching, and reading, and traveling, and languages, and cooking, skiing, playing tennis, and so many other things. Her life is full. That being said, she has been trying to get into a PhD program since 2022, when she was a straight man. She had zero success. It was just post covid and so many universities had students who had been unable to complete their programs. There simply weren’t very many spots available at the schools he was applying to. I will say, the schools have a level of prestige that makes the process even more difficult. Now, however, as a trans woman, with an emphasis on transgender studies, she has had great success. She has been called back for interviews by every school, and already has two acceptances. I’m not sure what the message is there. Perhaps it is now, right time, right place, right gender?

The start of 2025 had been relatively uneventful, not including the atrocious political situation the country is in, but for me, it was good. We had a renter at our Ojai house who departed mid January. We immediately enlisted our contractor to install new windows and doors, and headed down to warmer winter days than Portland could provide. We also had a new horizontal fence installed around the entire property. It’s beautiful. We missed last week’s little snow/ice event in Portland, yay! A renter arrives for March, so we’ll head back to Portland. Honestly everything was going so well…

On Tuesday, I received a phone call from my step mom. She had news about my youngest brother, the Listener, the one who worked for our company for all those years and who I let go (he apparently has told the family a different story, by the way), the one whose baby I helped take care of 10 years ago when my brother had foot surgery. Well, that baby turned 10 earlier this month. The whole family had been sick, but Jamie wasn’t really bouncing back. At his 10 year check up they ran bloodwork, then sent the family immediately to the children’s hospital in their area. That precious boy, Jamie, has leukemia. It’s very fresh and new for the family right now and they have tons of support, but it’s heartbreaking nonetheless. He has the more difficult variation. Acute AML.

This child has no relation to my step brother who survived Leukemia about 10 years ago at age 50. The step brother spent 6 weeks in the hospital getting chemo, and then had to have a bone marrow transplant, but he survived.

I texted my brother quite a bit over the past few days. His boy is strong and has a great support system. They are all in good spirits. They are five days in to a hospital stay that will most likely last weeks. I wish them strength.