I spent all day Tuesday (7/20) running around picking up things for my sister who was still safely at the crisis center here in Portland at that point. Again, I didn’t want her spending the night out of a secure facility. I arrived at the crisis center Wednesday morning at about 10:30am. By 11:30am my … Continue reading Tired of pretending, Part Four
crisis
Tired of pretending: Part Three
Even though the internist who prescribed my sister all those meds appears to be a negligent idiot, she did have one good piece of advice for me. She told me to call and speak with my sister's social worker at the crisis center. Never having done this before, I didn't know my sister had a … Continue reading Tired of pretending: Part Three
Everybody hurts… sometimes
Tomorrow is the five year anniversary of the day Blue Eyes' brother took his own life. Uncle D (as I will call him) was 43 years old. He was married to a young woman he had brought over from China for the purpose of making her his wife. Before hearing the story of how they met by Uncle … Continue reading Everybody hurts… sometimes
Bonding road trip from hell, part four
Journal Entry: October 16, 2014 Going back home. I woke up yesterday feeling down. In hindsight, I think I was totally burnt out. All my energy was gone. Used up. I had spent days now with my husband with barely a break. It was getting to be too much. In a car, in a hotel … Continue reading Bonding road trip from hell, part four
Bonding road trip from hell, part two
Journal Entry: October 12, 2014 The Science of Happiness and Well-Being We left Little River and the Heritage House and headed down the Highway towards Big Sur. The first portion of the drive was gorgeous and relatively uneventful. For lunch, we stopped in adorable Boonville in the Anderson Valley. It was gloriously sunny and nearly … Continue reading Bonding road trip from hell, part two
I need a place to hide
Journal Entry: October 6, 2014 It's been a while since I talked about therapy. A couple weeks ago I decided I was ready to be done with my individual work. Basically, I was going round and round with issues with communication with my husband. I communicate, he doesn't. Me continuing to communicate in therapy, by … Continue reading I need a place to hide
Anxiety
Today I have been away from WordPress for a couple days. I miss it. I miss reading about how people are doing. I miss posting on my own blog. I don’t want to fall too far behind since I have still not caught up on my old journal entries. I am currently in Hawaii managing … Continue reading Anxiety
Where my pain comes from today
Journal Entry: September 1, 2014 Today's thoughts to my husband: I can feel the time slipping away, like watching sand in an hourglass. Each day we get a little closer to the one year mark. I know you can feel it too. This is not the time to swoop in at the eleventh hour, to … Continue reading Where my pain comes from today
A present day breakthrough
Yesterday I wrote a blog post that included a journal entry from this past August. I talked about how that day, August 14, was the one-year anniversary of the day my husband broke up with his eight-year affair partner on a drive home from a one-day business trip to a nearby city. Coincidentally, last night … Continue reading A present day breakthrough
I want to go home
Journal Entry: August 11, 2014 I wake up sad and lonely. I want to go back to the place where someone took care of me, where someone loved me unconditionally, where someone nurtured me and didn't take me for granted. I want to go back to the place where I played all day, out in … Continue reading I want to go home
try not to cry on my rainbow 