Journal Entry: June 6, 2014 We have an agreement, my husband and I. If he needs to go on a business trip, especially if it is overnight, I will go with him, at least for the foreseeable future. He is still early in his recovery, and is completely susceptible to his acting out patterns and … Continue reading She haunts these places
sex addiction
Powerless to the addiction
“Before coming to Sex Addicts Anonymous, many of us never knew that our problem had a name. All we knew was that we couldn't control our sexual behavior. For us, sex was a consuming way of life. Although the details of our stories were different, our problem was the same. We were addicted to sexual … Continue reading Powerless to the addiction
Put it all in a box and hide it away
Journal Entry: May 22, 2014 I’m having a shitty evening. On our way to dinner, my mobile phone was ringing in my purse. I dug it out and there she was, the whore, calling me again. Honestly, I know this woman was needy and empty and my husband pursued sex with her and if it … Continue reading Put it all in a box and hide it away
Another one bites the dust
Journal Entry: May 20, 2014 Part of our plan after leaving Los Angeles last week was to meet with both my husband’s therapist (here forward called The Quack) and my local therapist, as a couple, to discuss how best to handle our son’s graduation, and our interactions with the in-laws. I honestly never wanted to … Continue reading Another one bites the dust
Day Two: Can we fix this mess?
Journal Entry: May 16, 2014 I sent this message to my friend during my lunch break: Hi D. I am killing time since I have a 1 hour and 40 min break with no place really to go except the bed bath and beyond across the street, or the sundry shop in the lobby (that … Continue reading Day Two: Can we fix this mess?
Day One: How did I get here?
Journal Entry: May 15, 2014 Message to D: I am looking forward to my session today. I have high hopes. Yesterday was a great day even with airports and airplanes. I did fine. My birthday dinner was fabulous, one of my favorite restaurants. We had a rough morning, unfortunately, but B is at a "meeting" … Continue reading Day One: How did I get here?
And the rest of the weekend went like this
Journal Entry: Mother's Day, May 11, 2014 After zero hours of sleep and with all the pain relievers worn off, what is left is a long ugly cut on my arm covered in dried blood and sixteen big black stitches, and a whole lot of pain. A forever reminder of my husband’s betrayal. We had … Continue reading And the rest of the weekend went like this
I did not leave tonight
Journal Entry: May 10, 2014 "It's not the load that breaks you, it's the way you carry it." -Lena Horne Days have gone by since I have written in my journal. This is not a good sign. I knew this day would arrive eventually. I’m pretty sure it will go down as the second most destructive … Continue reading I did not leave tonight
Building a dream
Journal Entry: May 2, 2014 "God moves in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform. He plants His footsteps in the sea, and rides upon the storm." ~ William Cowper A week before dday, my husband and I decided to purchase a beach house. I have always wanted a house at the coast. You could say … Continue reading Building a dream
I fall apart
Journal Entry: May 1, 2014 It’s a beautiful first of May day, sunny and warm. My birthday is in May and I have always been partial to the month. May and September are my favorites. Although some little blossoms show themselves in March and April, everything blooms in earnest in May. My new therapist’s office … Continue reading I fall apart
try not to cry on my rainbow 