I am heading off to a painting workshop in Southern California. I am a little anxious as I will be painting outside (plein air) and I will be working with acrylics. I have never painted in acrylics before, only oils and watercolors. I am reaching outside my comfort zone and I am also very excited. … Continue reading I am the wife
sex addiction
How do I know it isn’t real, part one
I have been working on this journal entry/post for days now. It has been incredibly difficult for me, and my husband. I suffered numerous bouts of trauma and some self harm while we were in Japan. We are home now and my arm looks like a tiger got it. I hate when I get in that … Continue reading How do I know it isn’t real, part one
We are all just players in his game
Journal Entry: January 12, 2015 Logging in and out of WordPress in Japanese, it's pretty cool. Living with a recovering sex addict really sucks. I can see them all, all the personalities that reside in him and represent the healthy and unhealthy bits. He cannot see them, or feel them. He is working on it, … Continue reading We are all just players in his game
Another dark road, part one
As I sit here in trigger "happy" Tokyo, I decided I would post this entry from back in Hawaii in December. My words then represent some of my feelings as I sit here in a place where my husband traveled with his affair partner three times over a period of four years. I am journaling, … Continue reading Another dark road, part one
New year, new look
Today New year, new look. I did a little tweaking of my blog design. I like it, for now. I wish it was a new look for my body, but alas, this year has taken a toll. I feel older, sluggish, exhausted by the stress of it all. It seems I am always sick with … Continue reading New year, new look
Guest post: the sex addict speaks about his first step
Journal Entry: October 31, 2014 “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” -Maya Angelou Since my life has been somewhat of a horror show since January, I guess it is appropriate to have my husband join me on this Halloween evening and share some insight into his brain. This morning … Continue reading Guest post: the sex addict speaks about his first step
Bonding road trip from hell, part one
Journal Entry: October 10, 2014 Beware of the “upgrade.” As previously posted on this blog, we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary this past July. For our anniversary, we had planned to visit the bed & breakfast where we spent our honeymoon all those years ago. We found out earlier in the year, that the inn … Continue reading Bonding road trip from hell, part one
Stranger things have not happened
Today. I was going to name my post "Stranger things have happened," but you know what? Stranger things have never happened. While we were in Hawaii, my father got a call from my brother's friend saying she had been trying to get ahold of him for a day, but he was not returning her calls or … Continue reading Stranger things have not happened
I need a place to hide
Journal Entry: October 6, 2014 It's been a while since I talked about therapy. A couple weeks ago I decided I was ready to be done with my individual work. Basically, I was going round and round with issues with communication with my husband. I communicate, he doesn't. Me continuing to communicate in therapy, by … Continue reading I need a place to hide
The stalker whore makes an appearance
Tonight I have a number of other journal entries to post from our recent trip to Hawaii, as it turned out to be full of triggers and trauma, with some breakthroughs along the way, and I do want to share those. However, we just returned home and I am exhausted, depleted, anxious, and feeling sick... and … Continue reading The stalker whore makes an appearance
try not to cry on my rainbow 