Photo by Alex Iby Some recent reading has prompted me to write about a lesson I learned VERY early on in this betrayed wife journey. Blue Eyes learned a similar lesson in his own way. Ironically I could see the lesson he needed to learn far more quickly than I could see my own. When … Continue reading There is no better or worse
12 step
Did I forget to say how great my husband is?
It seems to me that ever since I wrote the post about Control and the photo of the other woman, I have felt a weird vibe here on the old blog. First let me get this off my chest. My husband has his own path. He is a recovering sex addict. His recovery includes counseling, … Continue reading Did I forget to say how great my husband is?
My relationship with s-anon
What is my relationship with S-Anon? Well, basically, I don't have one. In a perfect world my husband would have worked with his therapist, told the therapist the truth about his secret sex life, all of it, and then worked with the therapist on a way to more safely inform me of Blue Eyes' sexual … Continue reading My relationship with s-anon
Rock bottom
My last post, prompted by an article in which the author did very little to differentiate sex addiction from sex offending (criminal behavior, pedophilia, sex with a minor, etc...), elicited some interesting conversation in the comments. It also got me and Blue Eyes talking quite a bit about this subject of sex addicts and their … Continue reading Rock bottom
I’m okay, but…
My blog entries from this summer bear out the fact that I have struggled. I've tried to work through the why. To be honest, I feel like Blue Eyes has been doing some gaslighting... I know he doesn't realize this is what he is doing, but I do. His seeing my unease and confusion, and … Continue reading I’m okay, but…
The fight for control
Obviously Blue Eyes and I still have our moments. There are details that I don't know. I would be living in fantasyland if I thought I would ever know everything. At this point, I don't want to know any more. I do not specifically seek out details from the secret life of my sex addict husband. Sometimes, … Continue reading The fight for control
The ninth step
I am neither scholarly, nor a particular fan, but I am finding Dante's Inferno keeps coming to mind when I think about Blue Eyes' ninth step, which he presented to me in Ms. Honey's office, last Thursday. He was thirty five years old when he began his journey through hell, Dante that is. Mid way through … Continue reading The ninth step
Why her?
As in, I was asked a question the other day by a friend. Why do I focus so much energy on the last acting out partner? Why is she the one who garnered so much interest, why was she the one I spewed vitriol over, why was she the most dangerous? Versus the others. Although … Continue reading Why her?
The difference between an affair and an addiction
I was just over at Cheater Fantasy's Blog commenting on her post: 'Sex and Love Addiction'. At the end of the post she poses the following question: "How does a sex addict differ from a person who has an affair?" I have thought a great deal about this question over the months, especially as I read other … Continue reading The difference between an affair and an addiction
A chance at happily ever after
I'm going to give myself closure on the discussion of Blue Eyes' fifth step. It's time to put the whole thing to bed. As I was nearly done with my blog entry late yesterday afternoon, Blue Eyes returned from his sponsor's house. There was no text when he left the guy's house. Leaving texts or calling … Continue reading A chance at happily ever after
try not to cry on my rainbow 