Love my Ojai succulent garden Please excuse me while I expound on the torment that is dealing with adult onset type 2 diabetes. First, I will say that I totally understand that there are much more agonizing illnesses to manage. My 10 year old nephew is 11 weeks into his Leukemia treatment and awaiting a … Continue reading The frustration of managing type 2 diabetes
flowers
Writing it out
Hydrangeas in my neglected garden. Life in my world has become a bit complicated. Our business is in a state of reorganization and growth, that's a good thing, but technically late in the game for us. I now have two rental houses that I am managing mostly as vacation rentals, completely by myself. Our beach … Continue reading Writing it out
Be kind
One of my all time favorite photos of my baby, The Peacemaker (Sammy). It just happens to be with the mother-in-law. Quite a pair! Today is my mother-in-law’s 81st birthday. This would be the woman who birthed and raised my incredibly dysfunctional husband. I met her 36 1/2 years ago. She was 44 years old, … Continue reading Be kind
Down to your heart
My dahlias are still going strong and bringing me lots of joy! I received the quote below in an inspirational email from the best trauma therapist in the world... at least she is that to me! These words spoke to me. The old me, before discovery, would have wanted to solve all my problems with … Continue reading Down to your heart
Purging
Since Blue Eyes reconnected with his parents in December, I have not had any contact with them other than the one dinner in Los Angeles. This is a good thing for me. Blue Eyes tells me they are quite often these days sending him messages asking about Portland. They express disgust with what is theoretically … Continue reading Purging
Sunshine on a cloudy day
My zinnias survived the moving van. I lost a couple plants and about 30 blooms, but honestly, that's a drop in the bucket of what is out there. It still looks beautiful. The neighbors did move out. I thought this would mean that our neighborhood would be quieter, but instead, they are fixing up the … Continue reading Sunshine on a cloudy day
Son of a bitch!
It’s a beautiful summer day here in Portland, Oregon. I’m loving my garden. I have a pretty large terraced yard on a hillside and this spring & summer, during Shelter in Place, I’ve devoted many hours to not only my dahlia cutting garden (birthday present to myself, 40+ tubers), but also to weeding and pruning … Continue reading Son of a bitch!
We’re in this together
Huge peony blooms from my cutting garden. I know it’s confusing to some, how or even why I would want to stay partnered with a person who lied and cheated and systematically betrayed me. How to get past the wounds, and why? Why trust? Why knowingly make myself vulnerable to a proven abuser. The question … Continue reading We’re in this together
Do not say those words…
Now that American Thanksgiving has passed I have a bit of a breather before I start preparing for Christmas and the New Year. The Thanksgiving holiday was wonderful. I arrived at the beach house with two full days to prep, and I really only needed one. I can be quite productive when I put my … Continue reading Do not say those words…
Family
The end of each year, from Thanksgiving to New Years Day, brings with it a lot of family time for pretty much everyone we know. For the first couple of years of recovery, this family time was fraught with trauma and anxiety. Some people know about Blue Eyes' secret life, but many do not. I … Continue reading Family
try not to cry on my rainbow 