Even though the years have come and gone, and I have healed from the betrayal trauma, I remember. I remember every single day, and every tear shed, and every shooting pain to my heart. I remember every feeling. I still don’t feel like there was anyone in my “real life” that got me, that truly … Continue reading I remember
wife of a sex addict
Be kind to yourself
Welcome Spring: Pink Foxglove I was digging around in my blog when I came across this very old post written by me at about 14 months post discovery. The comment I have copied below was written by a wife of a sex addict who was at about 2.5 years post her discovery. The two of … Continue reading Be kind to yourself
12 years later…
2025 First, I will say, that living 30 years with an undiscovered and therefore unrecovered addict, and another 12 years with a recovering addict, now, in the year 2026, things aren’t bad. I guess, at this point, as the wife of a sex addict, I can say, things are good. Our marriage is fine. Nobody’s … Continue reading 12 years later…
Our own worst enemy
This meme was sent to Blue Eyes last week by his sister. The unfortunate thing about having really awful parents, sometimes the wounds are so deep, we simply cannot see that not only haven’t we dealt with the abuse and subsequent fallout, but we are in fact perpetuating the abuse, carrying it forward, and abusing … Continue reading Our own worst enemy
Signs of emotional exhaustion
Yes, to this: “80% of women don’t cry, scream, or argue when they’re hurting, they go silent. Not because they don’t care, but because they’ve already said everything they needed to say and it changed nothing. Silence is her last language. It’s what she says when she realizes her words have fallen on deaf ears … Continue reading Signs of emotional exhaustion
Character development
I'm not a writer, so the idea of writing a book seems like a monstrous task right about now. I have done some outlines (actually, quite a few over the past five years) and am currently working on character development. I'm also reading books in the genre that mine will be in. I have enjoyed … Continue reading Character development
Another cursed Valentine’s Day, come and gone…
I dislike Valentine’s Day, very much. I haven’t been shy about it here, that’s for sure. Blue Eyes planned a Staycation for us here at the new Portland Ritz Carlton. It’s a beautiful hotel if a little out of place in this city. Pretty fancy for us, especially with downtown still trying to get back … Continue reading Another cursed Valentine’s Day, come and gone…
It’s been 10 years….
January Camellias in Ojai Ten years since the phone call. Ten years of recovery and sobriety for Blue Eyes. Ten years of pain for me. The ten year anniversary of the phone call (8 days ago) was spent hiking to a snowy waterfall in Dunsmuir, CA and eating smash burgers with The Peacemaker, my forever … Continue reading It’s been 10 years….
Abuse
I’m struggling with a sinus infection. I would like to be out in the garden planting my newly procured veggie starts, however, they will just have to wait a couple more days. The Peacemaker and I returned Sunday night from a month+ at our house in Ojai. This winter, Southern California ended its recent drought … Continue reading Abuse
Toxic People
We went retro this year and used The Peacemaker's first Hanukkiah. Night 6. I am so incredibly blessed to have both my boys home for the holiday season. I absolutely hate that I feel like I need to write this post, on Christmas. I try to write about the happy stuff too, but like Yelp … Continue reading Toxic People
try not to cry on my rainbow 