We went retro this year and used The Peacemaker's first Hanukkiah. Night 6. I am so incredibly blessed to have both my boys home for the holiday season. I absolutely hate that I feel like I need to write this post, on Christmas. I try to write about the happy stuff too, but like Yelp … Continue reading Toxic People
wife of a sex addict
Deflection
Winter Wonderland. Drive to the coast. December 2022. “I was shitty to everyone.“ That’s what he said when I mentioned how he treated me. That’s deflection. I used to be a religious follower of the American version of the TV show, “So You Think You Can Dance,’ until BE got rid of cable. Now we … Continue reading Deflection
Work life balance
As a quick side note, yesterday was the 8-year anniversary of this blog. Woohoo! 601 posts later, I'm still here. This blog was a life saver on many many days. Mostly fellow bloggers and blog followers were a life saver to me, so thank you from the bottom of my heart. Now, back to writing... … Continue reading Work life balance
It’s okay to feel really bad some days
I’m giving myself permission to feel really shitty today. I’m tired. I’m burnt out. I want more happiness in my life. The tears are welling up in the corners of my eyes right now, threatening to spill over, and it’s okay. My chest is tight. I feel like I want to run away. I’m in … Continue reading It’s okay to feel really bad some days
Be kind
One of my all time favorite photos of my baby, The Peacemaker (Sammy). It just happens to be with the mother-in-law. Quite a pair! Today is my mother-in-law’s 81st birthday. This would be the woman who birthed and raised my incredibly dysfunctional husband. I met her 36 1/2 years ago. She was 44 years old, … Continue reading Be kind
Seven years
Good Night Moon, 12/31/20 Today marks the 7th anniversary of the phone call. This day holds no specific or magnified trauma for me anymore. I don’t count backwards or forwards from January 11th anymore. I’m not sure how to define healing really. It’s true the path is not linear or smooth. Since the trauma symptoms … Continue reading Seven years
Not buying the bullshit
That beach house. Last night we had a heated family discussion about our leaky master bedroom fireplace at the beach house. It has not been properly dealt with and when storms blow, rain gets in. It’s not like it floods the place, and the floors are concrete, but the surround is a beautiful custom steel … Continue reading Not buying the bullshit
Down to your heart
My dahlias are still going strong and bringing me lots of joy! I received the quote below in an inspirational email from the best trauma therapist in the world... at least she is that to me! These words spoke to me. The old me, before discovery, would have wanted to solve all my problems with … Continue reading Down to your heart
You are going to be okay, part one
A very pretty day in the neighborhood WordPress reminded me last weekend that this blog is now six years old. I started writing about nine months into my healing journey. I had been journaling for months and it took quite a while to put all those words into legitimate, readable blog entries. I finally caught … Continue reading You are going to be okay, part one
Purging
Since Blue Eyes reconnected with his parents in December, I have not had any contact with them other than the one dinner in Los Angeles. This is a good thing for me. Blue Eyes tells me they are quite often these days sending him messages asking about Portland. They express disgust with what is theoretically … Continue reading Purging
try not to cry on my rainbow 