A burning desire

Yep, it’s true. Let that fire inside burn! 🔥

I made it to Japan where triggers abound, but they can’t get me anymore. I’ve built a wall of strength around me. It took a few years, but I won.

I’ve already got a bit of jet lag, which usually makes me loopy and somewhat ungrounded, so this will probably be a wandering post.

We had a long day of travel yesterday. I put my health first and went through an aggregator to get us reasonably priced business class seats on Singapore Airlines from LA to Tokyo. The 10 hour flight was manageable, the lie flat seats very nice, and the meals were delicious and healthy, lots of veg. I purchased myself some compression socks for the journey, and they worked great! No swollen feet or ankles. Amazing! After my Dad’s blood clot, I’m not taking any chances.

Dad’s still in ICU, but they’ve got him off the low blood pressure meds and that was a big hurdle to getting him out of Intensive Care. Unfortunately he has a staph infection (damn hospitals). They’re still talking about moving him tomorrow.

I was hoping when I woke up this morning (we’re 17 hours ahead of home) there would be a text from one of my siblings saying he was out, but instead, there was a text from my son informing me of Kobe Bryant’s death. I was never a fan of Kobe, I think he was drafted too young, didn’t have a chance to grow, as a man, and made some serious criminal mistakes (Colorado was not the only sexual allegation against Kobe, a room service employee at a Portland hotel was also sexually assaulted) but this is just tragic. His newest baby girl will never know her Daddy. Considering the mistakes my own father made, and where we’re at, it makes me sad. His life was cut way too short. Now that his amazing basketball career was over, he had a lot to give and now he doesn’t have that chance. RIP, Kobe.

On the plane yesterday I watched two movies, Hustlers and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. Odd choices for me. I didn’t really care for Hustlers. I would give it a meh, rating. My rating scale is: ick, meh, good, and love. I didn’t think the story was that interesting, even if it’s based on true events. I didn’t think there were any acting stand out performances (J-Lo has done better), and really, I realize this is a story about strippers, yeah… so these women, especially J-Lo, have amazing bodies. We get it. I didn’t feel sorry for the men. Sorry, not sorry. Make your bed and lie in it. Consequences, people! At one point during the movie I could see my reflection in the screen and my look was one of… repulsion? Meh.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, on the other hand, was good. I’m not a fan of Leo, but I gotta give him credit here, an actor playing an actor, acting, pretty darn good! Brad Pitt, yeah, not bad acting either. I don’t think the movie was in any way a comedy. Not sure you can “have” Charles Manson and Sharon Tate in a movie, and call it a comedy, but Hollywood does this. They play off a drama/tragedy as a comedy because it has a couple humorous scenes. I chuckled a couple times, and laughed once (when the “Manson girl” bursts through the window while Leo is in his pool—yeah that was funny wrapped in tension, wrapped in ridiculousness) but comedy, no! It’s Quentin fucking Tarantino. I knew the gratuitous violence was coming eventually, and it did. If only things had gone as well in real life as they did in this fantasy. Also, I was born in the 60’s and it was fun to see the interpretation of that time frame on screen. Anyway, since I know the “real” story there was tension throughout the entire movie, but in the end, I was okay with that. It was good.

Room Service Breakfast 🥣🍓☕️

I’m currently waiting for my date with the Princess. We’re going to lunch and then to her house to make strawberry parfait. They have gorgeous indoor strawberry farms in Japan and my brother tried to get us a reservation at one to pick our own fresh strawberries, but it is Chinese New Year time and many Chinese visitors are in town and have taken all the reservations for the week, so we will have to make do with store bought. It’s okay because GQ will know the best place to find them. Strawberries in January. It’s not summer here! Japan is a funny place!

Japanese Strawberries 🍓

24 thoughts on “A burning desire

  1. Enjoy your time in Japan. Your niece sounds like so much fun! Special times. Special fruit. Special??? All special. Enjoy.

    I hope your father is moved soon, too.

    I saw the preview about /Hustlers/ — I just CAN’T do that (now), in general. Strippers and prostitutes make me ill, literally, to watch on a screen. Selling their bodies, and objectifying themselves. I know the MEN make the market, but still… the women who do that… YUCK.

    Yep, my triggers, now, in general, have to do with this. Better than before, but heck, WHY should I watch that for entertainment? Um, I don’t need to do that.

    Take care, Kat.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Absolutely you shouldn’t watch Hustlers. I had heard some controversy of J-Lo deserving an academy award nomination for her performance, and strip clubs were never an issue for BE (or me), so I watched it. I like J-Lo’s stuff usually. This was a little more dramatic for her, I guess, but she has done other parts that I thought were better acted. This was not a tough role. Maybe she had to practice a bit of pole dancing, but she’s a dancer, so…. her body is amazing, though. I watched it on the plane because there is no way BE should watch it and he was busy working. I thought the topic of the movie was disgusting and full of bad decisions by all parties. Blech.

      My niece is adorable. We had a lot of fun and hopefully will see her again Friday.

      My Dad has taken a turn for the worse. They went in again to clean up the wound and figured out that it is not a fungus (duh, it took how long to figure this out?), but in fact lack of blood flow and healing that is the problem with the open abdominal wound. Not sure there are lot of good choices for him at this point. Apparently tomorrow the family that is there will have a meeting with doctors/surgeons/palliative care to explore options. There’s nothing we can do from here, but if he is given a short time to live, we will fly home. This is very sad and they are talking about hospice/end of life care as one option. My step mom doesn’t want him to suffer anymore, and he’s back on the ventilator. I’m hoping his regular internist (who has been visiting regularly) will have some options. The surgeon was apparently not optimistic, but I have found surgeons to often be very cold and want high odds for success. It’s all very stressful but there is nothing I can do. My sons are clamoring to get to see their Papa one more time, so it’s a balancing act, plus the time difference makes it all very cumbersome. I will say though that the weather went from 38 and raining yesterday to 65 and sunny today. I would love to go out and explore, but my knee is pretty bruised and resistant to a lot of walking.

      It’s always something… I hope you are feeling well! xo

      Liked by 1 person

      • Enjoy your time with your niece. They grow so fast! Enjoy the nice weather, too. Is there an alternative to walking to go easy on the knee? Scooter or something?

        I’m sorry to hear about your dad. It’s good that family members are meeting with a team of docs together. I understand how your stepmother doesn’t want him to suffer. We went through those decisions as a family with my father, too. He had a stroke (bad) and he went on comfort care within a few days.

        Lots going on for you. One step at a time. Take care of yourself. ❤


  2. Enjoy! I’m hoping that you get good news soon about your dad.

    So do the hydroponic strawberries taste good, or are they kind of washed out/ lacking in flavor like hydroponic tomatoes? (I’m sure the Princess could care less either way, but I’m just curious.)

    Liked by 3 people

    • Still waiting for Dad to be moved, but I guess there aren’t any rooms available right now in the recuperative ward, so he stays in ICU. I wish he could just move straight from ICU to the convalescent facility where his internist is the doc, but that is probably wishful thinking. He still has a lot going on that needs to be tended to. I wish he was in a better hospital.

      So I guess I was wrong and they are not mostly hydroponic. They’re grown in greenhouses in special soil, off the ground to avoid the soil getting too cold. The Japanese are such perfectionists. The strawberries are huge, perfect, and incredibly sweet. I’m guessing, since her parents are picky, the Princess is too. The fruit in Japan is like no other. They are the masters of perfect fruit. https://shun-gate.com/en/roots/roots_57.html


      Liked by 2 people

    • Me too! The first couple years/trips to Japan were pretty awful. It’s all here on the blog somewhere. So painful. He shared a lot of what I would have considered special places with her. He didn’t have to… places he took me to when we were 23, and places we took our kids to, he also took her to. Sad. He’s just so ritualistic and I know she didn’t mean anything but it hurt. For the most part, we don’t go back to those places. I have family here, it’s a very important part of my life and I won’t let anyone ruin that. My niece is so adorable and treats me like a friend, wanting me to “play” Calico Critters with her and wanting me to sit next to her. I actually have 10 nieces but this little one jabbering on to me in Japanese is pretty special. 🙂

      Liked by 4 people

    • Tarantino is a pretty creative guy, no doubt. I also thought The Joker was impressive. As depressing as it was, I would probably give it a love. I thought Joaquin Phoenix’s acting was stellar. There’s quite a variety in the best picture category. It should be interesting to see what wins.

      I always enjoy Japan, it’s a quirky country. Unfortunately I was holding my niece’s hand last night on the way to the train station and she tripped and then I tripped and in order to avoid hurting her, I went down pretty hard on my already bum right knee. Trying to be nice to it today. I’m getting old. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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