Well ain’t that the truth! Serenity Prayer: Blue Eyes’ response to my previous post’s questions (from his blog, where he answered, not to my face by the way): “If Crazy Kat died tomorrow, would I feel like I had been a good partner? Do I feel like I gave her the time she deserved? Do … Continue reading What doesn’t kill you…
survival after addiction
Reminding myself to breathe
Oh my god there has been so much going on in our lives I want to scream and run far far away and just be. Just be still, and quiet, and alone. It doesn’t much matter where, just that I can vanquish the noise. Reminding myself of the good things. It’s summer. The weather has … Continue reading Reminding myself to breathe
Be kind to yourself
Welcome Spring: Pink Foxglove I was digging around in my blog when I came across this very old post written by me at about 14 months post discovery. The comment I have copied below was written by a wife of a sex addict who was at about 2.5 years post her discovery. The two of … Continue reading Be kind to yourself
Compromise
That’s the name of the game. Blue Eyes’ Ojai office. Done and dusted. I had fun putting it all together, and he loves it! “A compromise is an agreement where opposing sides give up some of what they want to find a solution that everyone can accept, settling a dispute through mutual concessions rather than continuing … Continue reading Compromise
Sometimes There Are No Hollywood Endings
I hesitated before writing this. Not because the recent news isn’t tragic (it is) but because stories like this carry a weight that doesn’t need to … Sometimes There Are No Hollywood Endings I’m linking this blog post here because I really enjoy reading this man’s words, and I appreciate his perspective in light of … Continue reading Sometimes There Are No Hollywood Endings
Trust shouldn’t be a compromise
From somewhere on the internet I pretty much agree with the above and realizing hindsight is 20/20, I have to say before dday I trusted Blue Eyes with what I consider the big stuff… I trusted he would be faithful, and be there for me when I was going through a hard time, sorta, generally … Continue reading Trust shouldn’t be a compromise
I’m a reflection
New artwork for the beach house master bedroom Sometimes I sit and wonder if it’s me. But then I quickly realize it isn’t. I didn’t create this horrid situation in our marriage. I’m not to blame for the bad shit that transpired. It’s a trick and a trap that those of us who care about … Continue reading I’m a reflection
It’s okay to feel really bad some days
I’m giving myself permission to feel really shitty today. I’m tired. I’m burnt out. I want more happiness in my life. The tears are welling up in the corners of my eyes right now, threatening to spill over, and it’s okay. My chest is tight. I feel like I want to run away. I’m in … Continue reading It’s okay to feel really bad some days
Finding my place to land
I’m not sure what’s going on with me or why writing hasn’t been a priority in my life, but alas, I am back and with the goal of writing more often because, I do enjoy it. I meant to do this post yesterday, and the day before, and nearly every day before that for…. months? … Continue reading Finding my place to land
Tired of pretending, Part Four
I spent all day Tuesday (7/20) running around picking up things for my sister who was still safely at the crisis center here in Portland at that point. Again, I didn’t want her spending the night out of a secure facility. I arrived at the crisis center Wednesday morning at about 10:30am. By 11:30am my … Continue reading Tired of pretending, Part Four
