I have been working on this journal entry/post for days now. It has been incredibly difficult for me, and my husband. I suffered numerous bouts of trauma and some self harm while we were in Japan. We are home now and my arm looks like a tiger got it. I hate when I get in that … Continue reading How do I know it isn’t real, part one
acting out partner
Yeah, let’s get this over with right now
Journal Entry: October 31, 2014 Later in the evening, after our disaster of a couple's therapy session, I had my husband call Chatty Kathy's office and leave a message telling her we were canceling our appointment for the following week and we would not be returning to her for counseling. Here is the transcript of … Continue reading Yeah, let’s get this over with right now
The ambush, part two
Journal Entry, Cont'd: October 30, 2014 Blue Eyes and I drive the short mile back to our house in silence. He, of course, does not say anything, at all, and I am still so much in my head I am not even able to form cohesive sentences. I need to calm myself down somehow. I … Continue reading The ambush, part two
Telling my sister
Journal Entry: October 27, 2014 “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” –Mark Twain I have mentioned before that I have 10 siblings and I adore them all. My parents were married when they were young, had me before they were both 20, … Continue reading Telling my sister
I am a strong, joyful woman deserving of happiness
Journal Entry: October 26, 2014 At the end of the day, this is my truth. I am strong, I am joyful, and I do deserve happiness. The last day of the workshop was incredibly taxing. If I thought I was tired and drained when I arrived, I had no idea what those words meant. I … Continue reading I am a strong, joyful woman deserving of happiness
Some good news
Today I have had some kind of a head cold most of the week, so we had not been back to see my brother in the hospital. We leave today for a quick trip to Las Vegas, and I definitely wanted to get in to see Peter before we left. We had been trying to reach … Continue reading Some good news
Bonding road trip from hell, part one
Journal Entry: October 10, 2014 Beware of the “upgrade.” As previously posted on this blog, we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary this past July. For our anniversary, we had planned to visit the bed & breakfast where we spent our honeymoon all those years ago. We found out earlier in the year, that the inn … Continue reading Bonding road trip from hell, part one
Stranger things have not happened
Today. I was going to name my post "Stranger things have happened," but you know what? Stranger things have never happened. While we were in Hawaii, my father got a call from my brother's friend saying she had been trying to get ahold of him for a day, but he was not returning her calls or … Continue reading Stranger things have not happened
The stalker whore makes an appearance
Tonight I have a number of other journal entries to post from our recent trip to Hawaii, as it turned out to be full of triggers and trauma, with some breakthroughs along the way, and I do want to share those. However, we just returned home and I am exhausted, depleted, anxious, and feeling sick... and … Continue reading The stalker whore makes an appearance
The self-cleaning vagina
Journal Entry: September 19, 2014 Last year my menstrual cycle started going all wacky. I missed periods then had a cycle twice one month. I’m pretty sure I’m heading into (or hopefully out of) menopause. I was also getting increased irritation and infections from the condoms we use. It seems we have tried them all, … Continue reading The self-cleaning vagina
try not to cry on my rainbow 