On December 11, 2015, Blue Eyes commenced his third year of sobriety. Last week marked the beginning of year three of recovery for me and Blue Eyes individually, and for our marriage. Last night we discussed this morning's schedule. Blue Eyes would go to his 7:00am meeting with a friend and to the one-hour fellowship after. The friend would … Continue reading The third year, part 1
cheating husband
What was he thinking
Somehow my exercise playlist on my iPhone disappeared. It probably happened with a recent update. I have always had trouble with iTunes. I had already started up the elliptical when I realized I didn't have a decent playlist to listen to. I set the thing to shuffle. As I was winding down my 35 minute … Continue reading What was he thinking
Worth fighting for
Just about 20 months ago I received trauma therapy in Los Angeles. The particular psychotherapist I visited specializes in working with developmental, relational, and shock trauma. From her website, "she is a specialist in the Sex Addiction-Induced Trauma Model and she is trained to work with the addict, the spouse, and the couple. She is also … Continue reading Worth fighting for
Looking back, part two
While glancing back through 2015 posts, something else popped out at me and that was the fact that early on I still obsessed about the sex my husband had with the other woman. And even after I fully metabolized how unimportant those sex acts were in the scheme of things, I still focused on being able … Continue reading Looking back, part two
Looking back, part one
I did something I rarely do. I went back and looked through some of my old posts. I started at the beginning of 2015 and did a quick perusal of where I have been over the past year. Wow. Eye opener. I have made a lot of forward movement out of the dark recesses of … Continue reading Looking back, part one
Reconciling the differences
Me having a rough time of it usually precipitates a deep and open kind of communication that we had not really had before d-day. Until your world shatters into a million little pieces, there doesn't seem to be a need to sit around and talk all day about promises, and behaviors, and other women, and … Continue reading Reconciling the differences
I was doing so well
And this is the way it is going to be, for a very very long time. I was doing well. Accepting of my new and hopefully temporary role of being the caregiver to my husband. I had honestly, pre surgery, been doing well with our roles reversed for a change. I enjoyed kicking back and not … Continue reading I was doing so well
Life is a good teacher and a good friend
On this Christmas Eve day, I wanted to share the words of Pema Chodron. Blue Eyes is on day three of recovery from his hip replacement surgery. He is doing well, but as expected, is in quite a bit of pain. Our boys are off at my parent's house for Christmas Eve, and we are … Continue reading Life is a good teacher and a good friend
I will never tell him I forgive him
I have read a couple betrayed spouse posts recently, as well as an article or two, on the subject of forgiveness. I have also heard the phrase, "I will never forgive him," quite a few times. I am pretty specifically focusing on betrayed spouses forgiving their cheating spouses. Although I have mentioned forgiveness a few times on my … Continue reading I will never tell him I forgive him
Seeking happiness
Even after all I have shared here, I consider this post to be one of the most difficult to write. This blog entry is being prompted by current happenings in our little family, and also by blogs and other articles I have read over the past two years, some as recently as yesterday. Our younger son … Continue reading Seeking happiness
try not to cry on my rainbow 