I spent all day Tuesday (7/20) running around picking up things for my sister who was still safely at the crisis center here in Portland at that point. Again, I didn’t want her spending the night out of a secure facility. I arrived at the crisis center Wednesday morning at about 10:30am. By 11:30am my … Continue reading Tired of pretending, Part Four
family
Purging
Since Blue Eyes reconnected with his parents in December, I have not had any contact with them other than the one dinner in Los Angeles. This is a good thing for me. Blue Eyes tells me they are quite often these days sending him messages asking about Portland. They express disgust with what is theoretically … Continue reading Purging
We’re in this together
Huge peony blooms from my cutting garden. I know it’s confusing to some, how or even why I would want to stay partnered with a person who lied and cheated and systematically betrayed me. How to get past the wounds, and why? Why trust? Why knowingly make myself vulnerable to a proven abuser. The question … Continue reading We’re in this together
Missing those days
A friend sent this yesterday. I think it is beautifully written, and so true. The tears flowed. I'm missing my Brooklyn boy.The Last Time From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,you will never be the same.You might long for the person you were before,When you have freedom and time,And nothing in particular … Continue reading Missing those days
On his own terms…
A few people have mentioned here and elsewhere how my dad lived life on his own terms. He lived that way, and then he died that way. Dad passed away last Thursday, February 6. He was stuck in the ICU for five weeks. No doubt it was torture for him. Before going into the hospital … Continue reading On his own terms…
Too soon to say goodbye
We found out early Friday morning that my dad is in critical condition, in the ICU up north near his home in Washington State. He's 77 years old. He’d been in some abdominal pain for a few days, which then became severe, and he asked my step mom to call an ambulance because he literally … Continue reading Too soon to say goodbye
A night out with the in-laws
Father-in-law chose the place and time. Dinner at an Italian Restaurant in Los Angeles at 7:00pm. We decided to take an Uber to avoid driving in LA rush hour traffic. We arrived about 15 minutes early. The restaurant was, shall I say, a throw back to a different era. We recently watched the excruciatingly long … Continue reading A night out with the in-laws
Beautiful places
Today is Blue Eyes' Birthday and we are on the beautiful Hawaiian island of Kauai. As a Birthday treat for both BE and The Peacemaker (his birthday is Friday), I booked a scenic flight around the island for the three of us. A few years ago Blue Eyes and I saw the dramatic Na Pali … Continue reading Beautiful places
Anxiety abroad
I am currently in Japan. Blue Eyes is super busy with work while I get to enjoy some leisure and family time. We're celebrating my Mom's 75th and my niece's (The Princess) 4th birthday here in Tokyo. My baby brother (GQ) has lived in Tokyo for 24+ years now and I'm glad we have business … Continue reading Anxiety abroad
Is age a factor
I realize there will be no scientific analysis here. I am merely throwing out something that has been rattling around in my brain for quite some time. Maybe a discussion will ensue. I hope so. How do betrayed spouses decide whether to stay or go. What are all the factors, realizing each of us has … Continue reading Is age a factor
try not to cry on my rainbow 