The end of each year, from Thanksgiving to New Years Day, brings with it a lot of family time for pretty much everyone we know. For the first couple of years of recovery, this family time was fraught with trauma and anxiety. Some people know about Blue Eyes' secret life, but many do not. I … Continue reading Family
family
Where did the feelings go?
We recently returned from a trip back east. I had a splendid time despite the fact that it rained most of the time we were in Chicago and, our flight to NYC was cancelled and rescheduled so that we had to travel on The Peacemaker's birthday, something we didn't want to have to do. But … Continue reading Where did the feelings go?
A weight on my shoulders
As much as I love my beach house, and I do love it, and I have spent lots of time there recently, this has been a trying summer so far for me and Blue Eyes. He has been working A LOT. We have been apart. He has been traveling, very few overnights, but many many … Continue reading A weight on my shoulders
It will never be about us
I have had numerous conversations lately swirling around the heartbreaking topic of suicide. It's one of those things that seems to happen in waves, but in fact happens all the time, thoughts of it, and the actual act of it. The familiar words of regret from those left behind, family, friends... insisting there was something … Continue reading It will never be about us
Road trip to Yosemite
Wow did we have fun last week! We took my incredibly comfortable road trip car and headed down to California. The Peacemaker joined us. We have a friend who is a hobby photographer (and he's pretty damn good) who had visited Yosemite a few years back. He took some spectacular photos, and ever since seeing … Continue reading Road trip to Yosemite
We know it’s not our fault
The very last thing I did before the appraisal person arrived at our house last week, was make one last run through of The Peacemaker's bedroom and make his bed the way it was intended to be made. He was grumbling upstairs about where was he supposed to go while the appraiser was here. The appraisal … Continue reading We know it’s not our fault
Just another love story. Part seventeen: the early years, with children
If you have been reading my blog, specifically these entries about our history, you know that I was living a certain reality, loving life, hating my in-laws, married with a new baby, struggling to make ends meet, but you also know the bigger picture, and the reality that my husband was living a very different version of … Continue reading Just another love story. Part seventeen: the early years, with children
I’m not good enough
Another long holiday weekend in the US has come and gone. For the past couple years I have been avoiding large get togethers with my family up north... I would call them the Mormon family, but many of them are no longer Mormon. At this point six of my father's nine children are not LDS. My … Continue reading I’m not good enough
Our time apart
I am way behind on my posts, but for very good reason. We have been traveling most of the past month. So, even though my last couple posts were a bit melancholy, they were not really about Blue Eyes or our relationship, such as it is. At this point, our progress, for both me and Blue Eyes, … Continue reading Our time apart
Just another love story. Part sixteen: jobs for everyone
Oh, I forgot to mention... during all of the turmoil of delivering and bringing baby home, Blue Eyes received in the mail confirmation that he had in fact passed the bar exam. It didn't really help with the job situation at the time, but we had a nice little celebration nonetheless. Blue Eyes' parents came … Continue reading Just another love story. Part sixteen: jobs for everyone
