Tomorrow is the five year anniversary of the day Blue Eyes' brother took his own life. Uncle D (as I will call him) was 43 years old. He was married to a young woman he had brought over from China for the purpose of making her his wife. Before hearing the story of how they met by Uncle … Continue reading Everybody hurts… sometimes
family
How to make a mommy cry
Last night at dinner, I received two gorgeous cards (and presents too, but frankly the cards meant more to me). One was from Blue Eyes and our younger son. Prior to this point, I have called that son, the Peacemaker. From here forward, I will call him Sweet Sam. I named this baby boy Sammy when … Continue reading How to make a mommy cry
Too soon
I am on my last day in Salt Lake City without Blue Eyes. I pick him up at the airport tomorrow around lunch time. I have been here since Saturday. It was much more difficult than I could have imagined. Not the seeing my brother and his wife and their little family part. Not the holding … Continue reading Too soon
Just another love story. Part five: learning to compromise
After returning home from the Thanksgiving trip from Hell, we both had to focus on the final few weeks of classes. I tried to forget all about Blue Eyes’ parents, but it was difficult. By the time we hit the end of the term, we had some decisions to make. First, Blue Eyes had started … Continue reading Just another love story. Part five: learning to compromise
Just another love story. Part four: meeting the parents
After the miscarriage in late October, I had settled in to a minimized class schedule and work as usual. Blue Eyes had a full load of classes. Fast approaching was Thanksgiving break. As it turns out, Thanksgiving is a big huge deal to Blue Eyes’ mother. I could have just as easily spent the holiday … Continue reading Just another love story. Part four: meeting the parents
It started on Valentine’s Day
Even though I feel stronger than I did a year ago, stronger as a person and stronger in my marriage, I am not sure I will ever be able to go through an entire day without some reference to the hell my husband has put me through. On Valentine’s Day afternoon, our dogs would not … Continue reading It started on Valentine’s Day
Health is fleeting
In December I wrote a couple posts about my brother, Peter. He was suddenly diagnosed with leukemia at the age of 50. He received 14 days of straight chemotherapy and was in the hospital for nearly six weeks. Tests came back with a positive result, or so we thought. The last we saw him, Peter … Continue reading Health is fleeting
Tumbling from the pedestal
We are all imperfect beings, and for some of us, that takes a little getting used to. What I have noticed about myself, and the rest of the people in my life is that many of us strive to be what others perceive as good or “perfect,” we make “appropriate choices,” we are politely social … Continue reading Tumbling from the pedestal
Unburying the trauma
Months ago, I was ruminating on the fact that part of the reason I was struggling so desperately with my husband’s betrayal was not because of the extramarital sex acts he and his affair partners participated in, because deep down, sex is sex to me and I shoved thoughts of those frivolous, filthy liaisons where … Continue reading Unburying the trauma
A ray of sunshine
I have been inspired by a betrayed spouse blogger and his incredibly happy and positive post today. Anyone reading my blog knows that I was recently in Japan. Japan holds a lot of triggers for me and I still have one more journal entry I wrote in Japan that will be very painful to post... … Continue reading A ray of sunshine
try not to cry on my rainbow 