Journal Entry: July 6, 2014 I read somewhere that being a mistress felt like being a weed in someone else's rose garden, and that makes total sense to me! Since my husband has known the old alcoholic whore for what is now nine years, he is pretty aware of her schedule. He did not spend … Continue reading The Reconnaissance Mission
love after addiction
Hasta la vista, baby!
Journal Entry: July 3, 2014 Email today to my friend, D: Well, June is over. Do you feel more relaxed yet? Blue Eyes and I are home and enjoying a quiet holiday week. He is struggling more, me a little less. We are moving forward, because sitting still is depressing. Blue Eyes is in a … Continue reading Hasta la vista, baby!
The celibacy fiasco
Journal Entry: June 29, 2014 This is it, the last day of my husband’s intensive therapy program. When Blue Eyes arrived at the peaceful spa pool at the resort where I was luxuriating in the 80+ degree weather, I knew immediately something was terribly wrong. He was supposed to have met me up at the … Continue reading The celibacy fiasco
I went to a sunshine yellow valley, and I was loved
Journal Entry: June 28, 2014 Saturday morning I woke up in my big comfy bed and realized, only one more day until I get my partner back. I am happy that this thought actually feels so good. Wanting to be back in my husband's arms brings feelings of warmth and comfort. While waiting for breakfast, I decided to … Continue reading I went to a sunshine yellow valley, and I was loved
Saying Good-bye
Journal Entry: June 20, 2014 I received a call yesterday from The Director of the Institute in Los Angeles that specializes in sex addiction treatment. I have met him once before, at my first trauma intensive appointment last month in Los Angeles. He's a pretty entertaining and charismatic guy, when he wants to be. He will … Continue reading Saying Good-bye
A sweet break from reality
Journal Entry: June 7, 2014 We took a break today from trauma (me) and recovery and step work (him), to just live our lives like we used to. I made a promise to myself that I would have a great day and I was determined to keep that promise. Three years ago, Blue Eyes and … Continue reading A sweet break from reality
She haunts these places
Journal Entry: June 6, 2014 We have an agreement, my husband and I. If he needs to go on a business trip, especially if it is overnight, I will go with him, at least for the foreseeable future. He is still early in his recovery, and is completely susceptible to his acting out patterns and … Continue reading She haunts these places
Building a dream
Journal Entry: May 2, 2014 "God moves in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform. He plants His footsteps in the sea, and rides upon the storm." ~ William Cowper A week before dday, my husband and I decided to purchase a beach house. I have always wanted a house at the coast. You could say … Continue reading Building a dream
Planting the seeds
Journal Entry: April 2, 2014 “When your heart is broken, you plant seeds in the cracks and pray for rain.” ― Andrea Gibson We are still on our cruise. On one hand I feel isolated, and on the other, I feel smothered. Remind me never to go on a cruise again. I have always loved the … Continue reading Planting the seeds
Leave your baggage at the door and join me for a little celebration
This is in real time... today: October 23, 2014. I have taken a quick break from going back in time. Today is my husband's 51st birthday, the 30th birthday I have celebrated with him. All but two of those birthdays we have celebrated together, in person. He was 23 and 24 years old the last time … Continue reading Leave your baggage at the door and join me for a little celebration
try not to cry on my rainbow 