During our last therapy appointment Blue Eyes brought up me, my dad, and one of my nieces as examples of people who live honestly and openly without fear and how he wants to emulate our behavior. He wants to be like us. He talked about the things he loves about me and how upon meeting … Continue reading Fear of not being loved
love after addiction
When anger rears its ugly head
Our therapy appointment on Friday began with the therapist asking how I was getting along since my dad's passing. I told her it had only been a few days since his funeral, which had been overwhelming, but that I was doing pretty well as long as I don't watch the video someone took of all … Continue reading When anger rears its ugly head
Love is… a year later
It must be Valentine's Day that gets me thinking this way. Last year at this time I wrote this Love is entry. I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day. I have written about this numerous times, and the year he spent Valentine's Day with her in Tokyo (2010, crazy it's been 10 years!), ew, it's ugly no … Continue reading Love is… a year later
I’m still in that box
My baby brother, the Listener, the one who works for us and knows everything, called my mobile phone last Thursday at about 1:30pm. He didn't beat around the bush. He said, "dad is gone." Even though I knew what was coming, the words still hit me with an awful force. It wasn't shock or surprise, … Continue reading I’m still in that box
For now, I’m keeping him
Saturday, January 11th, approximately 1:00pm, was the six year anniversary of the phone call from the other woman. The phone call that forever changed the lives of my little family. I haven't said it in a while, but it is true that if this awful woman hadn't called my phone, it is likely that I … Continue reading For now, I’m keeping him
I’m not the wife of a porn addict…
Last month I purchased the book of a fellow blogger and recommended others do the same if they had the means, and the interest. So, first, I am not the wife of a porn addict. I am the wife of a sex addict, and I'm obviously not new to this. Josh definitely wants readers, people … Continue reading I’m not the wife of a porn addict…
Navigating that pedestal
To put someone on a pedestal: To believe or behave as if someone or something is perfect, wonderful, or better than others, to the extent that one is unable to see its potential flaws or faults. Once again, comments by bloggers have prompted a post. In a comment by beleeme on my last post, she … Continue reading Navigating that pedestal
In-patient treatment for sex addiction
The phone call from the other woman happened on a dreary January Saturday afternoon in 2014. The Seahawks were set to play at 1:35pm and we were planning to watch the game in our family room with our son. He struggles with an anxiety disorder, and had recently returned mid-term from his sophomore year of … Continue reading In-patient treatment for sex addiction
The letter
Top of the Falls. Yosemite. This post is kind of a continuation of my last only in the fact that the acting out partner played a huge role in Blue Eyes secret sex addicted life for the eight years before discovery. For those who have followed me for a while, or who have read my … Continue reading The letter
I’m over it
photo credit: Justin Kauffman Facebook reminded me that five years ago last night I found myself on a plane with my husband's affair partner. I mean I didn't put that on Facebook, but yesterday I was reminded that we were returning from a corporate retreat in Hawaii. I was less than a year post discovery … Continue reading I’m over it
try not to cry on my rainbow 