Ten years ago, I wrote this post: https://trynottocryonmyrainbow.com/2015/12/08/seeking-happiness/ The post is pretty much all about The Peacemaker, our younger child, and his bout with depression. I end the post, written in December 2015, with: “On a side note, I would like to feel some literal sunshine on my face… we are drowning here in the … Continue reading Seeking happiness, 10 years later
married to a sex addict
On doing less
Although I strive for peace and happy and all that, I do think the above meme is a bit judgy. To this person, busy does not equal peace. Peace = success. But, we all get to decide how busy we want to be. For some people, busy makes them happy, and not busy feels wrong, … Continue reading On doing less
Our own worst enemy
This meme was sent to Blue Eyes last week by his sister. The unfortunate thing about having really awful parents, sometimes the wounds are so deep, we simply cannot see that not only haven’t we dealt with the abuse and subsequent fallout, but we are in fact perpetuating the abuse, carrying it forward, and abusing … Continue reading Our own worst enemy
Signs of emotional exhaustion
Yes, to this: “80% of women don’t cry, scream, or argue when they’re hurting, they go silent. Not because they don’t care, but because they’ve already said everything they needed to say and it changed nothing. Silence is her last language. It’s what she says when she realizes her words have fallen on deaf ears … Continue reading Signs of emotional exhaustion
Mystery 101
Sunrise photo of Mt. Hood from our house courtesy of Blue Eyes We're having a bit of a heat wave here in Ojai so I'm inside working on the book. Actually it's not even noon, and already 92 degrees. The weather has been odd since we arrived last month. One day it was 80 and … Continue reading Mystery 101
Character development
I'm not a writer, so the idea of writing a book seems like a monstrous task right about now. I have done some outlines (actually, quite a few over the past five years) and am currently working on character development. I'm also reading books in the genre that mine will be in. I have enjoyed … Continue reading Character development
Trust shouldn’t be a compromise
From somewhere on the internet I pretty much agree with the above and realizing hindsight is 20/20, I have to say before dday I trusted Blue Eyes with what I consider the big stuff… I trusted he would be faithful, and be there for me when I was going through a hard time, sorta, generally … Continue reading Trust shouldn’t be a compromise
Actions, not words
Strangely enough, I’m still trying to get Blue Eyes to stop taking his phone into the bathroom. It was on the boundary list all those years ago. He stopped for a long time, but has been back at it for a while. Why do people even want to have their phone in the bathroom? Beyond … Continue reading Actions, not words
You are going to be okay, part two
The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, blossoms are popping, it’s spring in Portland. I’m doing some cleaning of the closets and other such spring kinda stuff. Life is not perfect, but it’s good. Eleven years ago today, I was three months into healing from the most shocking revelation, that my husband was a … Continue reading You are going to be okay, part two
I’m a reflection
New artwork for the beach house master bedroom Sometimes I sit and wonder if it’s me. But then I quickly realize it isn’t. I didn’t create this horrid situation in our marriage. I’m not to blame for the bad shit that transpired. It’s a trick and a trap that those of us who care about … Continue reading I’m a reflection
try not to cry on my rainbow 