I received a lovely message from a new commenter "Centered" on my last post and she reminded me that I did not post this year on or around the anniversary of discovery day of my husband's secret life. And you know what? I legitimately forgot the significance of that day, completely. And although this post … Continue reading 9 years ago
addiction
Do you wonder why I run away
This is really a post to my husband. A post out of utter frustration to my 8 1/2 years sober sex addict husband. I would talk to him face to face, but he’s too busy working, at 11:30pm. At diagnosis Blue Eyes acknowledged who and what he was and started on his recovery journey… a … Continue reading Do you wonder why I run away
Tired of pretending, Part Four
I spent all day Tuesday (7/20) running around picking up things for my sister who was still safely at the crisis center here in Portland at that point. Again, I didn’t want her spending the night out of a secure facility. I arrived at the crisis center Wednesday morning at about 10:30am. By 11:30am my … Continue reading Tired of pretending, Part Four
Tired of pretending: Part Three
Even though the internist who prescribed my sister all those meds appears to be a negligent idiot, she did have one good piece of advice for me. She told me to call and speak with my sister's social worker at the crisis center. Never having done this before, I didn't know my sister had a … Continue reading Tired of pretending: Part Three
Tired of pretending: Part Two
On the Saturday night that my sister was in the emergency room being stabilized, Blue Eyes, The Peacemaker and I went to her apartment and gathered all the prescription medication we could find. We went through everything in the apartment: drawers, pockets, cupboards, her hope chest, desks, tv cabinets. We looked inside boxes and handbags, … Continue reading Tired of pretending: Part Two
Tired of pretending: Part One
Thursday, July 22, 2021 (when I started this entry): It’s been one of those weeks. The past 30 hours feels like 30 days… Per usual, I have thought a lot about writing blog entries over the past couple months. I’ve even started a few. But they sit in the queue, unfinished. I’ve written before about … Continue reading Tired of pretending: Part One
Seven years
Good Night Moon, 12/31/20 Today marks the 7th anniversary of the phone call. This day holds no specific or magnified trauma for me anymore. I don’t count backwards or forwards from January 11th anymore. I’m not sure how to define healing really. It’s true the path is not linear or smooth. Since the trauma symptoms … Continue reading Seven years
You are going to be okay, part one
A very pretty day in the neighborhood WordPress reminded me last weekend that this blog is now six years old. I started writing about nine months into my healing journey. I had been journaling for months and it took quite a while to put all those words into legitimate, readable blog entries. I finally caught … Continue reading You are going to be okay, part one
Purging
Since Blue Eyes reconnected with his parents in December, I have not had any contact with them other than the one dinner in Los Angeles. This is a good thing for me. Blue Eyes tells me they are quite often these days sending him messages asking about Portland. They express disgust with what is theoretically … Continue reading Purging
Separated at birth
My other blue-eyed boy! Okay guys. Not sure how long this post will stay up. I’m having a super silly day. I can’t wipe the smile off my face since two followers compared the eyes of my husband’s former sex partner to Donald Trump. Maybe it’s the doubling up of my anti-depressants that’s making me … Continue reading Separated at birth
try not to cry on my rainbow 