My other blue-eyed boy! Okay guys. Not sure how long this post will stay up. I’m having a super silly day. I can’t wipe the smile off my face since two followers compared the eyes of my husband’s former sex partner to Donald Trump. Maybe it’s the doubling up of my anti-depressants that’s making me … Continue reading Separated at birth
depression
Things we remember
Full disclosure. I am going to admit straight off that this is a petty and immature post. I rarely feel this way, at least not anymore, but there's something about being cooped up for weeks that has me tense and a bit ungrounded. I just had a video call with my doc and we are … Continue reading Things we remember
What will I remember
I thought, during this time of shelter in place, social distancing, and all that jazz, that I would be spending a lot more time on WordPress. It actually hasn't been the case. I haven't written much here since we returned home, and the blogs I follow have been, with the exception of a couple, pretty … Continue reading What will I remember
What do I want
I'm still counting down the days to trauma therapy... four more. One of the things the trauma therapist asked for was a document explaining what I hoped for our time together. What I want to accomplish. Here's what I sent her. I honestly didn't know what to say. It was difficult to write out how … Continue reading What do I want
They’re talking about me
My sister was talking about me. This would be the sister who shared the same divorced parents, the same childhood experiences, the same trauma. Despite her mental illness, or maybe because of it, she is sharp as a tack. She's insightful, and intuitive, and I know she looks up to me. I'm her big sister, … Continue reading They’re talking about me
What’s different now
This is NOT a recap post about what is different in my life now versus prior to discovery of my husband's betrayal and secret life. That would be one bloody long post. Been there, done that. No, this is a post about my health. I haven't really posted about my health in a very long … Continue reading What’s different now
It will never be about us
I have had numerous conversations lately swirling around the heartbreaking topic of suicide. It's one of those things that seems to happen in waves, but in fact happens all the time, thoughts of it, and the actual act of it. The familiar words of regret from those left behind, family, friends... insisting there was something … Continue reading It will never be about us
I’m sorry
Sometimes I feel like I need to put out a disclaimer before I start typing. Although we are moving forward together, me with Blue eyes, and I am healing, and I keep writing because it helps me feel better in the moment, this ride is so tumultuous, some days I feel like I'm going to … Continue reading I’m sorry
I cried, just a little…
I'm taking a break from my vacation travel posts to focus on the reality of today. We have been going through some stressful shit. I'm doing my best to not let it get to me, but then I realize although Blue Eyes wants for us to share in the handling of this rather unfortunate circumstance … Continue reading I cried, just a little…
Lost identity
In the shower this morning I realized I am having an identity crisis. I have written so much here on my blog. I have spilled out who I am, what has happened to me both before and after I found out about my husband's secret life, how I feel about addiction, how I feel about … Continue reading Lost identity
try not to cry on my rainbow 