With it being Valentine’s Day and all… I thought I would join the masses and post something related. I have another post just about ready to go with my first week’s progress on my new healthy living plan and I am feeling great about that and want to post it, but I have been ruminating … Continue reading Should I thank the flower lady
sex addict recovery
The year has come and gone
Like most people, I am on a journey to self awareness, happiness, health, contentment, whatever you want to call it. It's not a race, I don't have to rush it. There is no one destination or result that will mark the completion of this journey, except death. Every day until then, I have the power within myself to improve, … Continue reading The year has come and gone
The year that felt like a lifetime
“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.” –author unknown An excerpt from the Sexaholics Anonymous 90 Days of Meditations (SA 2013) written by a recovering addict: SECRETS REVEAL SICKNESS I'm as … Continue reading The year that felt like a lifetime
And then jet lag happened
“I knew that if I allowed fear to overtake me, my journey was doomed. Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing … Continue reading And then jet lag happened
It’s not love. It’s safety I seek
Journal Entry: January 18, 2015 My husband loves me. I know he does. I know he always has. That is not what scares me. On our last day in Tokyo, we had afternoon tea with GQ, his wife, and the little ray of sunshine. Then we walked them to Tokyo Station and said good-bye. We … Continue reading It’s not love. It’s safety I seek
What I wish he had said
"Life is a process. We are a process. The universe is a process." -Anne Wilson Schaef Journal Entry: January 16, 2015 A couple months ago I asked my husband to write something about his first step that I could post on my blog. He hemmed and hawed and procrastinated and eventually wrote something, and then … Continue reading What I wish he had said
We are all just players in his game
Journal Entry: January 12, 2015 Logging in and out of WordPress in Japanese, it's pretty cool. Living with a recovering sex addict really sucks. I can see them all, all the personalities that reside in him and represent the healthy and unhealthy bits. He cannot see them, or feel them. He is working on it, … Continue reading We are all just players in his game
Guest post: the sex addict speaks about his first step
Journal Entry: October 31, 2014 “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” -Maya Angelou Since my life has been somewhat of a horror show since January, I guess it is appropriate to have my husband join me on this Halloween evening and share some insight into his brain. This morning … Continue reading Guest post: the sex addict speaks about his first step
The ambush, part two
Journal Entry, Cont'd: October 30, 2014 Blue Eyes and I drive the short mile back to our house in silence. He, of course, does not say anything, at all, and I am still so much in my head I am not even able to form cohesive sentences. I need to calm myself down somehow. I … Continue reading The ambush, part two
The ambush, part one
Journal Entry: October 30, 2014 This is the note I wrote to my husband after this morning’s disclosure: Some day I hope you can understand that every time, every fucking time you disclose information that you have been keeping from me, in other words lying about, it is like you are stabbing me with a … Continue reading The ambush, part one
try not to cry on my rainbow 