We are all in pain

I am reblogging an old post of mine because I want to remind myself of my own words as frustration sets in, once again. I think May 2015 is going to go down as my second busiest blogging month yet. I am not quite sure why, other than we have been home most of the month and its the one year anniversary of a few heartbreaking occurrences in my life including the horrible card from the other woman and my requiring a hospital visit after a particularly scary self harm incident. It’s been a year since last year’s horrible month of May and a birthday I barely remember, an event I was so numbed out for I wonder if it even happened. I feel like I have made a lot of progress, but I still need my blog and I post on my blog hopefully to help me heal and feel better. I have learned that I still need to be mindful of the blogs I follow and also to not let comments on my own blog affect my mood negatively. Thankfully, I have the most amazing followers and the vast majority of comments are from people who, I feel, get me and appreciate me and my story. It is in this spirt that I reblog this entry from January of this year.

try not to cry on my rainbow

If I ever thought I would run out of things to write for my blog, I was mistaken. Even if there is nothing interesting enough to write about going on in my life, other bloggers daily give me ideas of topics to write about. Every day I am either prompted by another’s blog topic, or a comment on my own blog, or a comment on someone else’s blog.

After receiving some rather opinionated comments on my blog about my emotional condition, and then having two followers publicly announce they would not continue following me because I, at this time, have chosen not to partake in more individual therapy, I decided to address my thoughts about blogging.

Today I took stock in why I decided to start a blog in the first place. I had kept a journal since discovery day. I did not start my journal because I was so…

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6 thoughts on “We are all in pain

  1. We are living with the same man, no? It’s crazy how our lives are the same right now. I’d give anything to sit down with you at lunch and talk straight through dinner. Thanks always for your comments and support.

    Mistress blogs? I wa by those links!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, our husbands sound incredibly similar. In my last comment on your blog, I was going to say that I wish we could talk in person. Just being able to sit down with someone else who is literally going through the same thing, is so helpful. I found one friend here on my blog who I can meet up with occasionally. She lives in another city close by, but frequents our city for work. She is incredibly sweet and kind and helpful as she is a year further along than me. Sometimes it feels good just to sit down and chat and not feel so alone, and not feel so crazy for living with a sex addict. It is kind of scary most days. You are much better with the ow than I am… my husband was so lazy he had a relationship with one woman for 8 years, that has been a big problem–for me and her. I have told him so many times I wish it was 80 women. I need to practice my own boundaries.

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  2. I have found that when someone wants to get to a woman they either call her fat or crazy. Crazy bitch, fat bitch whatever. Crazy? So we are all crazy women, wives and OW alike–crazy? Is she just parroting what the MM has told her to assuage her guilt and role in the whole betrayal? Does the fact that the wife is “crazy” legitimize the affair? Or is it more legitimized because she’s fat AND crazy
    AND frigid?? The ignorance of the whole narrative is goes from ridiculous to sublime in a nano second reading mistress blogs. They spend SO much time repeating what the MM said to them as if to truly drive the point home to themselves that THEIR relationship was honest and true. Look fool is he’s going to lie to his wife he’s going to damn well lie to you. Simple concept. Learn it!!

    I’m sure the OW wants to believe wives are crazy and wives want to believe all OW are whores. Well in my case the OW was a Crazy Whore :), see what I mean though? What the OW cannot do is put the wife in the crazy category judged by her actions after she finds out about the affair? Like a friend on mine’s husband said about my crazy days, “really, he’s shocked? How did he expect her to act?” They should try to put themselves in our shoes and see how they would act, CRAZY, that’s how. But that would entail having empathy something about which they have no idea.

    I’ve read OW/Mistress blogs. Some are so gross and explicit sexually I wonder if it’s really a woman writing them. Awful!! The others I read I get such a kick because they love talking in all that romantic bullshit language. Quoting Keates and Bronte. They really are dreamers. None see the affair for what it was and what it was based on. Some truly believe that was the “great love of their life” and well these poor souls are just desperate and ignorant. Ignorant about what love really is and the difference between love and lust. They go from MM to MM and wonder why they keep getting shit on. Well learn from Einstein who said “Doing the same thing over and over the same way and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity”. So OW’s who’s the real “crazy” one?

    You don’t want crazy, stalking, and abuse from wives? Stay away from their husbands! Easy Peasy!!!

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    • Ha, thanks for your comment. I appreciate your passion. I think we have read some of the same mistress blogs! 🙂 . Keep on keepin’ on, tryinghard, you made me smile. Easy peasy!

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  3. Aside from blogging, I keep a journal. The reason was I was going through some hard and scary times (I still am, but its better), and I wanted something to look on, lets say in a year from now and say to myself, “yes, I’m doing better, I’ve come a long way.”
    You know what? You never have to, or should feel pressured into not being yourself and being ashamed of your feelings. The worst thing a woman could loose is her voice–her ability to express herself. When I had to shut down my blog because of my ex using it against me in court, I was completely devastated.
    Never let anyone censor you. This is your blog. You are allowed to express yourself HOWEVER you want. Of course people may not like what you say, but who gives a sh*t. You are not using anyone’s real name or hurting anyone. In fact, it is incredibly healing to voice your thoughts and get support from other people who have dealt with something similar.
    Keep doing what feels right 🙂 There are always haters, let them hate.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I know, but with everything else going on, I just hate the weirdness of dealing with other people’s baggage on my blog along with my own and my husband’s monstrous baggage, ah. I know it is a necessary evil and I get so so many wonderful, useful, and supportive comments, so… I need to be better at grabbing those rose colored glasses when I get a funky comment and just ignore it, let it roll off my shoulder as I walk away into the sunset. Cue the Kat walking away, head held high, music! ❤

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