I used to call them triggers and they inevitably caused me tremendous suffering. Triggers were everywhere, literal memories of "the phone call" or buried feelings of being emotionally abandoned by my husband, or conjured visions derived from the fallout of Blue Eyes' sex addicted behavior. Now, the triggers have slowly morphed into memories that no … Continue reading Memories
Sometimes talking things out is the best way through, and I'm always grateful for this blog. This entry has been sitting here for a while because I started this post and then abandoned it. Some days, weeks, months, I don't feel like putting my thoughts into words. I guess I would call it a slump. … Continue reading Beyond sobriety
I knew it wasn't perfect Not me, not you. Our faults were written all over our faces, and on every wall and in all the spaces. Me, always too much. Always the first and last to speak and share. The one with all the words, the one who never shuts down and always cares. You, … Continue reading Thoughts for today
I’m currently on a plane to San Francisco to spend a long weekend with Blue Eyes, being touristy. We’ve been to the Bay Area dozens of times, Blue Eyes was actually born just outside the city, but this time I wanted to do a couple walking tours, Chinatown and Little Italy... some history, some food, … Continue reading Strong a.f.
Now that American Thanksgiving has passed I have a bit of a breather before I start preparing for Christmas and the New Year. The Thanksgiving holiday was wonderful. I arrived at the beach house with two full days to prep, and I really only needed one. I can be quite productive when I put my … Continue reading Do not say those words…
Wow, it's been a while. It's August already. How did that happen? I missed a whole month here on the blog. I have been trying to keep up with the few blogs I follow. Please know that I am here and I feel the pain. I remember all the stages, vividly. I am thrilled and … Continue reading Where to start…
Things were going along so well, and then someone had to go and fuck it up. This post is not really about sex addiction. To sum things up, shit happens no matter how adept I believe I am at avoiding it. And, my life's not perfect (I know, I know—no one’s is) but I have … Continue reading Wait, what just happened?
or that I am perfect, or whatever, I'm here to set the record straight. Ha ha ha, of course I am not perfect. No one is perfect, and I am far far from it. I was doing my monthly check in, google search, etc... of my little family and for the first time in a … Continue reading Just in case you thought my life was all glamour and bliss…
“When your heart is broken, you plant seeds in the cracks and pray for rain.” ― Andrea Gibson Three and a half years ago I wrote a journal entry and when I posted it on my blog in November, 2014, I titled it: Planting the seeds and I end the post with... I am cracked, but I … Continue reading Where happiness grows
Thanks WordPress for letting me know. It's been three years! Wow. I'm so glad I have had this venue to talk things out. Indeed I do feel like I have been through a rough storm, but I'm not going to drown. I'm doing okay. Good even. Thanks for being there for me. ❤