Hashtag, The Struggle Is Real

I don’t know what it is, but I love this crazy saying, hashtag thingy, whatever.

The Struggle Is Real.

Maybe it is because when people use the hashtag, it is usually in conjunction with something silly, like #FirstWorldProblems, #TheStruggleIsReal, I just ate three boxes of Girl Scout cookies for lunch, type of thing. The other day a Canadian Instagram friend posted a picture of some concoction called Cookie Butter and this caption “…finally seeing this on the store shelves in Canada and knowing how my USA friends are addicted, the only responsible thing was to try it out. #cookiebutter #thestruggleisreal #rightbeforebathingsuitseason #addicted.”

So, of course what did I do after seeing her post? I first clicked on #TheStruggleIsReal to see what other funny things were attached to that hashtag on Instagram. I wasn’t disappointed. There were tons of memes with sayings like, “this kale salad tastes like I’d rather be fat,” and “my energy level on any given day is equal to that of a sloth on Ambien” overlaid on a picture of a sloth, of course. Second, I looked up Cookie Butter. What the heck is that? I assumed it was ground up cookies mixed with peanut butter or another nut butter. I don’t know why I thought that… maybe I thought mixing cookies with nuts would make it somewhat “healthy.” Ha, joke’s on me. What it really is, is ground up cookies mixed with a fat to make it spreadable, like butter. What the what? Since when are we thinking up new ways to make bad things worse for us? My guess is, if I try this stuff it will not be a keeper for me. If I am going to splurge on that kind of calorie and sugar bomb, I prefer a good old chocolate chip cookie, unpulverized. I actually use a really great recipe these days with ground up oats, unrefined coconut sugar, fresh from the farm, eggs, whole grain flour, coconut oil, and bittersweet chocolate that is really quite tasty, and the cookies do have a few redeeming qualities, along with the fact that they taste scrumptious. Of course I am not fooling myself, they are still cookies, or biscuits as some might call them.

Please don’t comment on my obsession with cookies. 😉

And then I started to think about the phrase: The Struggle Is Real. I do find it refreshing when social media can take something that could be considered quite serious, and reduce it to comic relief. Boy do we need some comic relief most days. We need reasons to smile, chuckle, laugh even. For me it doesn’t come as naturally anymore. As betrayed spouses, the struggle IS fucking real. Even for those of us who are at a point where we don’t burst into tears all day anymore, where we don’t question any more whether we actually want to live this life, not to mention whether we want to live it with the person who betrayed us, we still struggle with our reality being obliterated, our dreams being smashed into a million pieces, and our hopes, our hopes for our own lives, for our children’s lives, being stolen from us. We have to learn to rewrite that story. It’s not so easy to want to rewrite a story you actually loved. As a matter of fact, for me, it was heartbreaking realizing I had to acknowledge and accept what my husband had done and what he is, as part of MY story. I don’t want it. I want to reject it. But even if I reject him, the story is still there and it is still real. I cannot change the past. Things will never be the same, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be good. We just now have to figure out how to make something that seems so bad, into something that works for us. It’s not fair and it’s not fun, but we can do it. The struggle is real, the path is less certain now, but life’s simple rewards still remain in tact. And, with that ever-present disclaimer of-stay or go-the power to embrace life remains in our hands alone.

As I struggle through, I decided to remind myself of just a few of the things I am so grateful for today… because spring is nearly here in this part of the world, and the changing of seasons is a great time to reflect on what is before us.





camelia bud


quince buds


magnolia buds


new leaf

Magic Carpet Spirea

Always and forever grateful for my macro lens.

Daughter of heaven and earth, coy Spring,
With sudden passion languishing,
Teaching barren moors to smile,
Painting pictures mile on mile,
Holds a cup of cowslip wreaths
Whence a smokeless incense breathes.

– by Ralph Waldo Emerson

17 thoughts on “Hashtag, The Struggle Is Real

  1. OK…lets be perfectly clear here….Cookie Butter on hot toast makes everything better. End of discussion. I also concur that this betrayal trauma shitstorm? Yes… THIS struggle is for f*****g real! OK..my work here is done. Carry on. 😜

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love my gardens.. But they’ve been mostly neglected for a few years..

    It never fails to reward me though.. Just yesterday I poked around.. Sedum is popping up and irises are up!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love that you ladies are foodies. Caroline, I had no idea Biscoff’s are Speculoos, a term which I have never even heard before. Sadly, I am incapable of self-control around Biscoff Crunchy Spread and only buy it in moments of weakness.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I don’t know why, but the idea of cookie spread doesn’t appeal to me… Maybe because I haven’t tried it LOL. I will stay away as I have enough temptations just from things like bagels, burgers and coconut macaroons. I am a piggy of galactic proportions. 🐽

      Liked by 2 people

    • Ha, thanks blooming shadow. Caroline does have a world of knowledge when it comes to food. I have never tried the cookie butter… but now that I have mentioned it to my son, I have no doubt it will show up in my kitchen one of these days. I have heard people say it is addictive… I didn’t think I cared for Nutella either, but then one day I realized, I really should not keep it in the house.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I love this post. There are days that it’s not easy to count your blessings.mi downloaded this gratitude app. I try to write three things I’m greatful for every day. Sometime is is a struggle.
    Cookie butter… Meh… I’m with u on that one. I’d rather have real cookies. Cookie butter is made from “lotus” / speculoos cookies. Try them with tea if u like the thin and crispy cookies. They are yummy! 🍪❤️🍪

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have a lot of blessings so don’t really struggle with coming up with numerous ones per day, but that doesn’t necessarily block out the non-blessings, if you know what I mean. I sort of need to flood my mind with thoughts of blessings on some days.

      So I read about the cookie butter and it seems it is made from biscoff type cookies. I had never heard of speculoos cookies, but I LOVE biscoff, they are super sweet (a little too sweet now that we haven’t been eating much sugar), but part of the love for me is their crunchiness. I have only had them on Delta Airlines. I know, weird, right? They have them in little packages in the Sky Lounge and then on some flights. When I am being really naughty, I get the little packages of the cookies and the little packages of the nutella and I eat them together. You see, this is how I know I am not a food addict… I don’t keep any of my food cravings, or habits, a secret. I shout my love for food from the rooftops and I am not ashamed either. 🙂 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • Speculoos is the type of cookie and Biscoff and lotus are the brand. It’s basically what Americans know as the Delta airlines cookie. It originated in Belgium where they are known as speculoos and they have these absolutely amazingly elaborate molds for them. If u ever visit Belgium I will find the “best of the best” at http://www.maisondandoy.com but personally I like the ones we get in America better — gosh I know too much about this stuff LOL. Whatevaaaaa…. Go team cookie 🍪😃🍪😃🍪😃
        You are a true foodie, just like me, and proud of it 😃

        Liked by 2 people

        • Wow, C, you are like a little cookie-pedia! Thank you. I have been to Brugge Belgium, but we were mainly looking for the wonderful liege waffles while we were there and did not have any speculoos. In my book, you can NEVER know too much about COOKIES!!! Go team cookie, indeed! xoxo

          Liked by 1 person

  5. Beautiful photos indeed! And I found this an exceptionally beautiful line of thoughts, especially that last sentence: “As betrayed spouses, the struggle IS fucking real. Even for those of us who are at a point where we don’t burst into tears all day anymore, where we don’t question any more whether we actually want to live this life, not to mention whether we want to live it with the person who betrayed us, we still struggle with our reality being obliterated, our dreams being smashed into a million pieces, and our hopes, our hopes for our own lives, for our children’s lives, being stolen from us. We have to learn to rewrite that story. It’s not so easy to want to rewrite a story you actually loved.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • I feel those words deep in my soul… but I also know I can love my life again, in a very similar but perhaps more honest way than I used to. I just need to embrace this new life as much as I took the other one for granted. ❤


  6. Beautiful post as always.. The struggle is definitely real!!

    Are the flowers from your gardens? My gardens have grown the last few years with little help from me.. A few years ago I extended one garden, 4-5 ft, and have done nothing with that giant space.. Last year, I put up a stone wall boarder.. And weeded and trimmed (hacked in a few instances)

    This year I have plans to reclaim it as much as one can!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, the flowers are from my garden. This fall I am planning on planting a Dahlia cutting garden as well. There is quite a bit of spring color at this point, but summer is a bit lacking. Over the past three years or so I let my cutting garden go. Time to reclaim it!!! I love the outdoors, flowers, trees, etc… they make me happy! 🙂 Good luck reclaiming your gardens. Gardening is one of my all time favorite pastimes.

      Liked by 1 person

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