First there was the earth shattering revelation that my husband had cheated on me. Repeatedly.
Then there was the pain, the shock, the confusion, the heartache, and the continued torture of hearing all the things he had done that broke apart my world.
Then there was me, falling to the ground in agony. There was me trying to metabolize the betrayal and coming face to face with the reality that my husband, a broken and selfish person who rationalized a destructive secret life despite the potential consequences, stole my life story away from me.
Then there was me pretending to be okay. Me trying to fit into the world, trying to fit into my marriage, trying to be the caretaker I was trained to be, when what I really wanted was for someone to take care of me.
Then there was the realization that no one could help me out of the hole I was in and no one was coming to save me.
Then there was me mobilizing myself, slowly healing myself, learning to live in my new reality.
Then there was me realizing nothing anyone does, not even my husband, can destroy me, and then there was me, letting go of the pain.
Then there was me writing my new life story.
An unlikely source posted this recently on their Facebook page:
I actually just posted the above in a comment on Sunshine’s blog and realized I wanted to share it here too. As I travel this journey post discovery, I realize it is important for me to remain true to who I am and for me to let go of any lingering feelings I might have that I can help fix anyone. As often as I have said it, I still find myself thinking somehow something I do or say will help someone else be better, do better. But in truth, I can only help myself. We are all responsible for our own fixing. It’s okay to let it all go.