This was the plan: Blue Eyes would return home with his parents after graduation. He was scheduled for intestinal surgery a few days later. I would stay at school and work my job. His surgery was scheduled for early in the morning with an expected surgery time of 4-5 hours. His family would call me … Continue reading Just another love story. Part seven: the narcissist goes in, guns blazing
betrayed spouse
Just another love story. Part six: Blue Eyes graduates college
Well, it’s been a while, but I feel that urge again to dip back into the memory banks of mine and Blue Eyes first years together. The years that would shape our eventual married life and impact decades of moments as a couple and as a family. After Blue Eyes returned from his winter break trip home, … Continue reading Just another love story. Part six: Blue Eyes graduates college
I don’t want to be preachy, just understanding, but…
Oh boy, here we go. I don't really have a lot of time right now for blogging. I shouldn't be blogging. I should be up, and moving at the very least. I have my alarm set to get me up out of my chair every hour. Sitting is bad for me/us/people. I actually should be … Continue reading I don’t want to be preachy, just understanding, but…
A mountain of fear
Here is my dilemma. My current and evolving story is about betrayal and subsequent trauma. Blue Eyes's story is about addiction. His story has been about addiction all along. We have both been hurt. But I did not perpetrate hurt on anyone. My marriage was not struggling. Although my husband did work, at lot, he was not … Continue reading A mountain of fear
Hey baby, what’s your sign?
So, depending on where you are in the world, it is either my birthday or almost my birthday right now. My birth day is May 14, 1963. I am turning 52 years old. Nah, turning 52 doesn't sound all that exciting to me either, but it is what it is. In a comment from the … Continue reading Hey baby, what’s your sign?
So what ever happened to that celibacy thing we were doing?
It didn’t work out so well. Well, maybe it did work out, for us, but we didn’t stick with the 30 days. I feel compelled to write this post and not just leave the celibacy “thing" hanging out there, so to speak. I went back and read through my other two recent posts regarding celibacy. … Continue reading So what ever happened to that celibacy thing we were doing?
Was I dropped on a planet full of sex crazed monsters?
We’re on another business trip out of town. It’s a short one, but still, there will be triggers. I guess it is inevitable at this point. I do long for a day when I am not blindsided by images I don’t want to see, and thoughts I don’t want to think. I have a lot … Continue reading Was I dropped on a planet full of sex crazed monsters?
He envisioned the devil
It is really sinking in for me that I must focus on taking care of myself first, every day. I know it is so cliché, but it is also so true. I have spent a lot of years taking care of a lot of people and I often get advice here on this blog that … Continue reading He envisioned the devil
More couple’s therapy
It's Tuesday, which means therapy day all the way around. Blue Eyes has his individual therapy in the morning and we have couple's therapy in the afternoon. Last night was another rough one, but we got past it. In today's therapy, Blue Eyes did good. He changed things up on Ms. Second Chance. He let me share … Continue reading More couple’s therapy
I need to talk this out, okay?
A sky that matches my mood... I have no idea where this is going, which is fairly unlike me. I really need to write now while my husband is away from the house. I need to think my thoughts out loud, in front of you all. It will probably sound crazy in the end, because … Continue reading I need to talk this out, okay?
try not to cry on my rainbow 