If you have been reading my blog, specifically these entries about our history, you know that I was living a certain reality, loving life, hating my in-laws, married with a new baby, struggling to make ends meet, but you also know the bigger picture, and the reality that my husband was living a very different version of … Continue reading Just another love story. Part seventeen: the early years, with children
family
I’m not good enough
Another long holiday weekend in the US has come and gone. For the past couple years I have been avoiding large get togethers with my family up north... I would call them the Mormon family, but many of them are no longer Mormon. At this point six of my father's nine children are not LDS. My … Continue reading I’m not good enough
Our time apart
I am way behind on my posts, but for very good reason. We have been traveling most of the past month. So, even though my last couple posts were a bit melancholy, they were not really about Blue Eyes or our relationship, such as it is. At this point, our progress, for both me and Blue Eyes, … Continue reading Our time apart
Just another love story. Part sixteen: jobs for everyone
Oh, I forgot to mention... during all of the turmoil of delivering and bringing baby home, Blue Eyes received in the mail confirmation that he had in fact passed the bar exam. It didn't really help with the job situation at the time, but we had a nice little celebration nonetheless. Blue Eyes' parents came … Continue reading Just another love story. Part sixteen: jobs for everyone
The new normal
Well, it's been a while. We returned a couple days ago from an 11-day trip to New York, New Jersey, and Atlanta, mostly for business. If not for the fact that Blue Eyes caught a bad cold and was sick as a dog the entire trip, and I mean he came down with it ON the … Continue reading The new normal
Just another love story. Part fifteen: a change of scenery, and a baby
When that condom broke all those years ago, I didn't actually feel it. Blue Eyes looked at me and I could see the panic in his eyes. I was not scared. Responsibility does not scare me, it never did. Blue Eyes on the other hand learned zero coping skills from his childhood, and certainly wasn't … Continue reading Just another love story. Part fifteen: a change of scenery, and a baby
A tumble, then a fall
After my last post, things went a bit bad to worse. It is difficult to explain these days how moody we can both be, for differing reasons, under the circumstances. I read a blog post a couple days ago that caused me to go to a place of great pain. I honestly thought I was past … Continue reading A tumble, then a fall
It warms my heart
Before going to sleep on Saturday eve, Blue Eyes and I checked the weather for both home and the beach property. We are thinking of taking a drive soon to view the progress on the house foundation. I didn't think Blue Eyes was quite ready for the drive on Sunday, so I was mainly looking … Continue reading It warms my heart
Holiday Treats
Just like anyone else who celebrates, I have lots and lots of memories and feelings surrounding the Christmas holiday. As I have discussed, religion is all over the place in my family. First, my parents are Christian. They were married in a Christian church (even though they have no idea what kind of Christian church, it … Continue reading Holiday Treats
Just another love story. Part fourteen: Testing the marriage.
After the wedding, and the honeymoon, and the other wedding reception, and a long drive back to southern California, we settled in to what would be the most hellish two years of my life, prior to d-day that is. Even though Blue Eyes was in law school, and he technically had another month of summer break, … Continue reading Just another love story. Part fourteen: Testing the marriage.
try not to cry on my rainbow 