try not to cry on my rainbow

Married to a sex addict. Rebuilding a relationship. The recovery journey.

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healing

Be kind to yourself

March 21, 2026 / CrazyKat1963 / 6 Comments

Welcome Spring: Pink Foxglove I was digging around in my blog when I came across this very old post written by me at about 14 months post discovery. The comment I have copied below was written by a wife of a sex addict who was at about 2.5 years post her discovery. The two of … Continue reading Be kind to yourself

12 years later…

February 1, 2026February 1, 2026 / CrazyKat1963 / 8 Comments

2025 First, I will say, that living 30 years with an undiscovered and therefore unrecovered addict, and another 12 years with a recovering addict, now, in the year 2026, things aren’t bad. I guess, at this point, as the wife of a sex addict, I can say, things are good. Our marriage is fine. Nobody’s … Continue reading 12 years later…

Driven by revenge

December 31, 2025 / CrazyKat1963 / Leave a comment

“The World's Deadliest Addiction Is Popping Up on Brain Scans. And It's Not Even a Drug. It is revenge...” There’s a Slate article floating around the web, posted back in July of this year written by James Kimmel Jr., author of the book The Science of Revenge, which talks about the world’s deadliest addiction being … Continue reading Driven by revenge

Seeking happiness, 10 years later

December 19, 2025 / CrazyKat1963 / 6 Comments

Ten years ago, I wrote this post: https://trynottocryonmyrainbow.com/2015/12/08/seeking-happiness/ The post is pretty much all about The Peacemaker, our younger child, and his bout with depression. I end the post, written in December 2015, with: “On a side note, I would like to feel some literal sunshine on my face… we are drowning here in the … Continue reading Seeking happiness, 10 years later

You are going to be okay, part two

April 15, 2025 / CrazyKat1963 / 2 Comments

The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, blossoms are popping, it’s spring in Portland. I’m doing some cleaning of the closets and other such spring kinda stuff. Life is not perfect, but it’s good. Eleven years ago today, I was three months into healing from the most shocking revelation, that my husband was a … Continue reading You are going to be okay, part two

I’m a reflection

April 12, 2025April 12, 2025 / CrazyKat1963 / Leave a comment

New artwork for the beach house master bedroom Sometimes I sit and wonder if it’s me. But then I quickly realize it isn’t. I didn’t create this horrid situation in our marriage. I’m not to blame for the bad shit that transpired. It’s a trick and a trap that those of us who care about … Continue reading I’m a reflection

Some dreams do come true

July 27, 2024 / CrazyKat1963 / 5 Comments

Last weekend we went to visit Blue Eyes’ father in Los Angeles. Much to my astonishment, it has been an absolute pleasure dealing with Grandpa the past few months. Most of his grumpiness towards Blue Eyes and The Peacemaker is gone. Grandpa now laughs and jokes and says “I love you,” and “I miss you,” … Continue reading Some dreams do come true

Another day, another cheater

March 15, 2024March 16, 2024 / CrazyKat1963 / 12 Comments

Yesterday I visited my favorite “downtown Ojai” interiors store. I put downtown in quotes because Ojai is a very small town. Barely 8,000 residents, but it has lots going for it, like great shopping (albeit expensive), yummy restaurants, lots of fun events like the Memorial Weekend Arts Fair, a juniors tennis tournament, music festivals, two … Continue reading Another day, another cheater

It’s been 10 years….

January 22, 2024January 22, 2024 / CrazyKat1963 / 20 Comments

January Camellias in Ojai Ten years since the phone call. Ten years of recovery and sobriety for Blue Eyes. Ten years of pain for me. The ten year anniversary of the phone call (8 days ago) was spent hiking to a snowy waterfall in Dunsmuir, CA and eating smash burgers with The Peacemaker, my forever … Continue reading It’s been 10 years….

Loneliness

September 22, 2023 / CrazyKat1963 / 6 Comments

All we can hope for is that Blue Eyes’ father feels a little better with us here. It occurred to Pooh and Piglet that they hadn't heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats and coats and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood to Eeyore's stick house. Inside the house was … Continue reading Loneliness

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Recent Posts

  • Be kind to yourself March 21, 2026
  • Compromise February 14, 2026
  • 12 years later… February 1, 2026
  • Driven by revenge December 31, 2025
  • Still searching… December 22, 2025
  • Seeking happiness, 10 years later December 19, 2025
  • Sometimes There Are No Hollywood Endings December 16, 2025
  • Feeling ungrounded December 16, 2025
  • On doing less October 22, 2025
  • Our own worst enemy October 16, 2025

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Recent Posts

  • Be kind to yourself
  • Compromise
  • 12 years later…
  • Driven by revenge
  • Still searching…

Recent Comments

CrazyKat1963's avatarCrazyKat1963 on Be kind to yourself
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Centered's avatarCentered on Be kind to yourself
CrazyKat1963's avatarCrazyKat1963 on Be kind to yourself

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