I hopped on the elliptical this afternoon and turned my exercise play list to shuffle mode. 'I Won't Give Up' by Jason Mraz was the first song to play. A good warm-up song for me. Actually, listening to this song has brought me through some tough moments over the past four years. It's kind of … Continue reading I won’t give up
healing
Betrayal doesn’t define me
Although my husband is a diagnosed sex addict, he is also a cheater. When I first found out about his cheating, I had no idea he was a sex addict or that such a thing was even real. There were a lot of revelations on his part over those first few days, and an obvious … Continue reading Betrayal doesn’t define me
Where happiness grows
“When your heart is broken, you plant seeds in the cracks and pray for rain.” ― Andrea Gibson Three and a half years ago I wrote a journal entry and when I posted it on my blog in November, 2014, I titled it: Planting the seeds and I end the post with... I am cracked, but I … Continue reading Where happiness grows
Let me be clear
Blue Eyes reads this blog. Every entry, and most comments. I am always bluntly honest with my feelings, the feelings I am feeling at the time I sit down to write. Feelings change, people change (yes, they do), but I guess what I am saying is, what you read here is the real deal. This … Continue reading Let me be clear
Purging
Yesterday afternoon I looked at my Instagram account and realized I had nearly 3,000 photos posted. What? Too many photos. I went back to the beginning and started deleting. When I first loaded the Instagram App and began using it, I had no idea what I was doing. There were multiple pictures of the same … Continue reading Purging
My relationship with s-anon
What is my relationship with S-Anon? Well, basically, I don't have one. In a perfect world my husband would have worked with his therapist, told the therapist the truth about his secret sex life, all of it, and then worked with the therapist on a way to more safely inform me of Blue Eyes' sexual … Continue reading My relationship with s-anon
Feeling good
These past few days have been amazing. I am feeling good. I started up eating healthy, again, cutting out a lot of the bad carbs and red meat, and fatty dairy, again. Blue Eyes and I have been doing well, together at the beach house for the past few days, having fun with the dogs. … Continue reading Feeling good
Charting progress
This is year four of journaling on Valentine's Day. For a day that I have never cared much about, it seems, I sure do like to write about it. Journal Entry: Valentine's Day 2014 Journal Entry: Valentine's Day 2015 Journal Entry: Valentine's Day 2016 I actually don't think I like to write about it at … Continue reading Charting progress
The long and winding road
The road out is not straight and smooth. I felt bad for Blue Eyes last week. He attended a meeting with one of his favorite 12 step guys and during sharing he found out the guy had lost his sobriety a couple weeks prior. He was four years in and now he's starting over at … Continue reading The long and winding road
Snowed in
It's January 11, 2017 here in the U.S. and we are covered in snow, and it's snowing again. We rarely get a lot of snow in Portland. We're in a funny weather pocket. Our winters are usually fairly temperate, above freezing at least. We generally get one cold weather front per season. It might bring … Continue reading Snowed in
try not to cry on my rainbow 