While glancing back through 2015 posts, something else popped out at me and that was the fact that early on I still obsessed about the sex my husband had with the other woman. And even after I fully metabolized how unimportant those sex acts were in the scheme of things, I still focused on being able … Continue reading Looking back, part two
love after addiction
It warms my heart
Before going to sleep on Saturday eve, Blue Eyes and I checked the weather for both home and the beach property. We are thinking of taking a drive soon to view the progress on the house foundation. I didn't think Blue Eyes was quite ready for the drive on Sunday, so I was mainly looking … Continue reading It warms my heart
Reconciling the differences
Me having a rough time of it usually precipitates a deep and open kind of communication that we had not really had before d-day. Until your world shatters into a million little pieces, there doesn't seem to be a need to sit around and talk all day about promises, and behaviors, and other women, and … Continue reading Reconciling the differences
Life is a good teacher and a good friend
On this Christmas Eve day, I wanted to share the words of Pema Chodron. Blue Eyes is on day three of recovery from his hip replacement surgery. He is doing well, but as expected, is in quite a bit of pain. Our boys are off at my parent's house for Christmas Eve, and we are … Continue reading Life is a good teacher and a good friend
I will never tell him I forgive him
I have read a couple betrayed spouse posts recently, as well as an article or two, on the subject of forgiveness. I have also heard the phrase, "I will never forgive him," quite a few times. I am pretty specifically focusing on betrayed spouses forgiving their cheating spouses. Although I have mentioned forgiveness a few times on my … Continue reading I will never tell him I forgive him
Sunday mornings
Prior to d-day, Sunday mornings weren't really anything special. Like any other day, I got up when I felt like it, and Blue Eyes got up when he felt like it. When the kids were younger they had religious school on Sunday mornings, so one or both of us was up reasonably early to get … Continue reading Sunday mornings
Note to self
Stay the course! Jackson Lake, Grand Teton National Park, Wyoming Be positive. Stay positive. Don't let the messed up world we live in get me down. Remember my blessings. Always remember to be good and kind. Remember I am unique and my situation is unique and my marriage is unique. I love my husband. He … Continue reading Note to self
Love is a precious gift
"The most precious gift you can give to the one you love is your true presence." -Thich Nhat Hanh I cut back on my blog reading and writing, trying to spend less time in front of a computer screen and more time being present with Blue Eyes in the evenings. I have arrived at a … Continue reading Love is a precious gift
26 years
As of about 8:00pm tonight (U.S.-West Coast time), we will have accomplished 26 years of marriage. We were together for nearly five years prior to getting married, so that is a long time to put your faith and trust into one person. You would think the longer a couple is together, the easier marriage would … Continue reading 26 years
A chance at happily ever after
I'm going to give myself closure on the discussion of Blue Eyes' fifth step. It's time to put the whole thing to bed. As I was nearly done with my blog entry late yesterday afternoon, Blue Eyes returned from his sponsor's house. There was no text when he left the guy's house. Leaving texts or calling … Continue reading A chance at happily ever after
try not to cry on my rainbow 