I'm sharing here a blog post written by an addict. The words, Vanessa's adaptation of them, all of them, mesmerized me and will resonate with me for a very long time. Addiction is a powerful beast. But I have to be totally honest. As I was reading the words, I was picturing Blue Eyes' last … Continue reading Dear Addiction, This is Goodbye
love after addiction
Happy blog anniversary to me
Thanks WordPress for letting me know. It's been three years! Wow. I'm so glad I have had this venue to talk things out. Indeed I do feel like I have been through a rough storm, but I'm not going to drown. I'm doing okay. Good even. Thanks for being there for me. ❤
Cycles
I feel like I am caught in a series of cycles. Menopause is one that is getting the better of me. I know I have written about this before, because I have been "going through" menopause since before I commenced writing this blog. I was about 35 years old when we made the decision not … Continue reading Cycles
Beyond the sea
Apparently I won't be facing my in-laws any time soon. Phew. I'm still not sure what provoked his desire to make contact, we need to have a long discussion about this, but truth is, I haven't felt up to the conversation. When I left the beach house last week, my cold was bad and I … Continue reading Beyond the sea
Issues
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32XwDC6GNM0 If I could wish for a talent I don't possess, it would be to have an amazing singing voice. I would write songs like this one and sing like this, and wear suits that look like pajamas (LOL--I'm totally into comfort) and have all my songs be acoustic. My voice would be a little … Continue reading Issues
Turbulence on re-entry
At this point, I feel like readers are pretty aware that with all the fun of travel and beach houses, and all that jazz going on in my life, inevitably struggles will sneak their way in because, you know, living with a sex addict ain't easy. Frankly, after 33 years, I'm not sure living with … Continue reading Turbulence on re-entry
I’m sorry
Sometimes I feel like I need to put out a disclaimer before I start typing. Although we are moving forward together, me with Blue eyes, and I am healing, and I keep writing because it helps me feel better in the moment, this ride is so tumultuous, some days I feel like I'm going to … Continue reading I’m sorry
Is trust all it’s cracked up to be?
First, as I typed "all it's cracked up to be" the phrase struck me as quite odd. So, I looked up it's origin. Strange. The Phrase Finder I have asked myself and many others have asked me, if I will ever be able to trust my husband again. I realize there are about a bazillion memes … Continue reading Is trust all it’s cracked up to be?
Revelations
Embracing Mindfulness. If we actually sit and think, really sit with our thoughts, and actions, do we condone our own behavior. No Excuses. I have the above italicized words written on a note, but I didn't write down who said them? Maybe Pema Chodron? I do remember me typing in the words around it though. … Continue reading Revelations
The fight for control
Obviously Blue Eyes and I still have our moments. There are details that I don't know. I would be living in fantasyland if I thought I would ever know everything. At this point, I don't want to know any more. I do not specifically seek out details from the secret life of my sex addict husband. Sometimes, … Continue reading The fight for control
try not to cry on my rainbow 