If I could wish for a talent I don’t possess, it would be to have an amazing singing voice. I would write songs like this one and sing like this, and wear suits that look like pajamas (LOL–I’m totally into comfort) and have all my songs be acoustic. My voice would be a little raspy, but mostly sweet, and my lyrics would be reminiscent of the pain I have been through. I wouldn’t have the kind of voice where I could scream out the lyrics (a la Adele), and maybe my lyrics and my voice would be a little sickly sweet for some, but the passion would totally be there.

You do shit on purpose
You get mad and you break things
Feel bad, try to fix things
But you’re perfect
Poorly wired circuit
And got hands like an ocean
Push you out, pull you back in

I remember 23, Julia, and it all seemed so real, so intense, so damn life altering. And then I lived a few more decades and I learned what pain really feels like. I learned about how the distance from all those childhood wounds didn’t grow weaker with age, it grew stronger and threatened to take over my life. I learned that agony can be so overwhelming that it made me question whether I really wanted this life anymore. The thoughts were fleeting, but they were there. I was changed, changed by the actions of someone else. I never thought it could happen. If someone had told me how my life would proceed, I wouldn’t have believed them. I am stubborn. I believed I had control over what happened to me and how I would respond. Life is full of surprises.

Yeah, I got issues
And one of them is how bad I need you

I would change the lyrics to how bad I want you but yeah, I’ve got issues. I fell in love with an addict and I don’t want to let him go.

That’s how I feel today.