A very pretty day in the neighborhood WordPress reminded me last weekend that this blog is now six years old. I started writing about nine months into my healing journey. I had been journaling for months and it took quite a while to put all those words into legitimate, readable blog entries. I finally caught … Continue reading You are going to be okay, part one
married to a sex addict
Purging
Since Blue Eyes reconnected with his parents in December, I have not had any contact with them other than the one dinner in Los Angeles. This is a good thing for me. Blue Eyes tells me they are quite often these days sending him messages asking about Portland. They express disgust with what is theoretically … Continue reading Purging
In the time of Covid
Well. It has certainly been a while since I sat down to write a post. More than two months time. I did think shelter in place would mean more time to write and truthfully I do have time to write. I simply haven't been inspired to write. There are lots of topics to write about. … Continue reading In the time of Covid
We’re in this together
Huge peony blooms from my cutting garden. I know it’s confusing to some, how or even why I would want to stay partnered with a person who lied and cheated and systematically betrayed me. How to get past the wounds, and why? Why trust? Why knowingly make myself vulnerable to a proven abuser. The question … Continue reading We’re in this together
Things we remember
Full disclosure. I am going to admit straight off that this is a petty and immature post. I rarely feel this way, at least not anymore, but there's something about being cooped up for weeks that has me tense and a bit ungrounded. I just had a video call with my doc and we are … Continue reading Things we remember
Missing those days
A friend sent this yesterday. I think it is beautifully written, and so true. The tears flowed. I'm missing my Brooklyn boy.The Last Time From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,you will never be the same.You might long for the person you were before,When you have freedom and time,And nothing in particular … Continue reading Missing those days
Who does that?
Taking a Break I've linked here Blue Eyes' latest post. He doesn't usually ask for advice or comments on his blog. He started the blog as a way to work on some of the tasks he was assigned by his then therapist. A way to get some of his thoughts off and out of him, … Continue reading Who does that?
That damn desk
We have a rather large concrete room off the kitchen-end of our 1939-built house. Our home is on a hillside, and the concrete room is the foundation for the 2 1/2 car garage the original homeowners added on after converting the one-car garage to a TV room in 1948. We know the year because when … Continue reading That damn desk
A Friday in February
Time to finish the posts about our last couple's therapy appointment in Los Angeles. It seems so long ago. The coronavirus situation hadn't even gathered steam at that point. We were still in the throes of mourning my dad's passing, everyone had plenty of toilet paper. The toilet paper thing is still odd to me. … Continue reading A Friday in February
Fear of not being loved
During our last therapy appointment Blue Eyes brought up me, my dad, and one of my nieces as examples of people who live honestly and openly without fear and how he wants to emulate our behavior. He wants to be like us. He talked about the things he loves about me and how upon meeting … Continue reading Fear of not being loved
try not to cry on my rainbow 